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AlfredENeuman

  1. The Giz Wiz TWEETS bargains & now it's my turn. From Worst-Deal-Of-The-Day: 2003 MacNCheese Security Suite: $100 Value: now $97 + $40 ship
  2. I refuse to get stuck in traffic on July 4th, so I celebrate the 4th on July 11th. There r zero crowds, but the fireworks on that date suck!
  3. Another reason to read the fine print. My new low $ cell fone plan includes 1000 not-anytime minutes & 5 free total stranger connections.
  4. Instead of paying fund managers millions of dollars to lose our $$, wouldn't it make more sense to hire fortune tellers? Couldn't be worse.
  5. My line of Alfred E. Skin Rejuvenators R coming out soon! Do they work? I've been on the covers of MAD 4 more than 50 years & look at me!
  6. I bought 2 sets of rabbit ear antennas 4 the digital changeover & now my house has 48 sets of rabbit ears antennas! They're breeding like r
  7. I'm no dummy, I got my convertor box so I'm ready for the digital age. I do have one question. Where do you see the picture on this thing?
  8. W/MAD going to just 4 issues a year, I've cut out luxury restaurants. The folks at Wendy's do miss me, but I'll come by 4 spec occassions.
  9. I see every1 is talking about how their dogs react to storms. I know it's going to rain when my dog, "kitty" opens an umbrella
  10. 2 free tips from my new book: How To Double Your Income. 1st tip: Make sure you earn twice as much $$$. 2nd: Ask your boss 4 a 100% raise.
  11. Data Drive Thru transfers data between 2 PCs (not MAC) Was $60 when 1st came out. Deal of Day $17 free shipping http://tinyurl.com/qjz8r6
  12. So is the Hubbell Telescope repair 2B paid 4 by us taxpayers, or do u think the govt' get it @Best Buy along w/the extended warantee?
  13. John T. Rose sent me a link to another use of my pic. I should demand residuals! Oh well. What me worry? http://tinyurl.com/oauckg
  14. Guy makes a likeness of my face w/ CD's. It's in MAD 500, but if you're too "cheap" to buy it, it's here too: http://tinyurl.com/qfhfx7
  15. I'm reducing my carbon footprint by carrying helium balloons. I leave hardly any foot print at all. I - oh, oh, I'm going up too high- help!
  16. My 1st 100 days as a losing candidate 4 President has been 100% successful. I made no promises, so I broke no promises! What a legacy!
  17. Don't you hate those "follow this 1 rule to lose 5 lbs in a week' come-ons to learn the 1 rule is 'don't eat ANYTHING for the next 3 weeks!"
  18. My latest invention. Sandless sandpaper. It won't scratch any surface! (It won't sand either, but that's the only trade-off!) Pre-order now!
  19. Even in this bad real estate market, I think my plan to make $ will work. Sell buildings you don't own 4 cash. Worth a try; & jail sentence!
  20. It's great that Easter Sunday fell on a Sunday this year. Next year that means Easter Sunday will fall on a Monday. So, 3 day weekend. Nice!