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Middle-aged men stop and stare at the construction site, examining the application of tar like they know what they're doing.5:58 AM Jul 8thfrom Tweetie
Why must the NYPD torture us with those "drills" where they all drive in a row and make whale noises at each other with their sirens?7:53 AM Jul 7thfrom Tweetie
The fly doing laps in office was smart enough to crawl through one of the screens, but is such a frantic little idiot that he can't get out.7:16 PM Jul 6thfrom Tweetie
If the rain keeps up, I think we might have a pool for the 4th! What, five foot puddles in the alley don't make a pool?2:19 PM Jul 2ndfrom Tweetie
Day two. We were "asked" (under penalty of law) to be here at 11:15 but my nerves said if I got here early I would be safe. #juryduty8:01 AM Jul 1stfrom Tweetie
If I get assigned, please let the lawyers sound like Sam Waterston. Or anything but the woman squealing like a pig in the orientation video.5:56 AM Jun 30thfrom Tweetie
I wish I had a photo of every pair of shoes I've ever owned. Just a symptom of my sickness - worse, thinking I'll do it for my kids' shoes.5:31 AM Jun 30thfrom Tweetie
Cab just hit a fat guy wearing an American flag shirt in front of FDNY. Almost as bad as running down Santa in front of all the elves.7:14 AM Jun 26thfrom Tweetie
I would really like a blueberry muffin right now. Let's see if the universe delivers.5:05 PM Jun 25thfrom Tweetie
My stomach is totally disinterested in manners re @ericwright's birthday cake. It's just sitting there in the fridge asking to be eaten.1:04 PM Jun 23rdfrom Tweetie
