alexblagg
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My only New Year's resolution: stop talking about legally changing my name to Hakeem Olajuwon Jr., and just do it already.
about 13 hours ago
from Tweetie
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The trailer for this Robert Pattinson movie Remember Me is so REBELLIOUS. Feel like I fucked over authority just by watching it.
9:23 PM Dec 28th
from Tweetie
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John Steinbeck should have written a squeakquel to Of Mice and Men.
1:28 PM Dec 28th
from Tweetie
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Edith Zimmerman's Very Short Stories are pretty much my favorite funny things on the Internet. I want a book of them: edithzimmerman.com
1:03 PM Dec 28th
from Tweetie
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Confucius say: "Mark all as read."
11:22 AM Dec 28th
from Tweetie
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@ I would have gone with John Carter of Marzipan, but still, that sounds delicious.
11:05 AM Dec 28th
from Tweetie
in reply to hirschorn
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May your Christmas be merry & bright, and may your family get off your back about checking Twitter right now!
7:01 AM Dec 25th
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RT @: Love. This. RT @ The End of the 00s: The Stupid Kids of 1999, By Will Leitch
9:46 AM Dec 24th
from web
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Christmas in Poughkeepsie. If there really is such a thing as Santa Claus, I will get my Snooki sighting.
8:03 AM Dec 24th
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Starting my own line of pickled products called You Got Preserved.
4:37 PM Dec 23rd
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Man, I bet so much '80s teen pregnancy happened because of this game:
8:35 AM Dec 23rd
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When is SantaClaus.com finally gonna publish his list of The 50 Naughtiest People of the Naughties?
7:52 AM Dec 23rd
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Now I'm in New York, but despite what Jay-Z says, these streets don't make me feel brand new. More like dirty snowy.
6:19 AM Dec 23rd
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Pretty sure the world's gonna end if this douche doesn't get to deboard the plane 12 to 14 seconds before those in front of him.
2:27 PM Dec 22nd
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I want to spray this plane with a firehose of liquified Xanax. Let's all just SETTLE DOWN!
8:50 AM Dec 22nd
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Can someone please show this man from Foreigner what love is so he can STOP SCREAMING AT ME?!?!
6:05 PM Dec 21st
from web
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Before the Internet, I never realized all the comedic potential of a person's tragic death.
5:45 PM Dec 21st
from web
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I think "Precious" will definitely find its way into the canon of classic movies people like to watch around the holidays.
11:26 AM Dec 21st
from web
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On Santa's birthday, Mrs. Claus wears Marzipanties.
10:50 AM Dec 21st
from web
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How come no one has Fashionable Christmas Sweater parties?
10:19 PM Dec 19th
from Tweetie
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- Name alexblagg
- Location Venice, CA
- Web http://alexblagg....
- Bio Writer. Comedian. Gossipmonger. Master Innertuber.
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