alexawesome
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Had a dream helium wished me happy birthday by blowing up balloons with He on them and laughing. "Hehehehehehe!"
6:38 AM May 15th
via web
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If I hear 'Moves Like Jagger' on the elevator one more fucking time, bad things are going to happen. IT'S CRUEL AND UNUSUAL.
8:27 AM May 14th
via web
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Incredible. Another cover of Sexy and I know it: Just amazing. Watch it!
6:22 PM May 11th
via web
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Stroking egos is like anal: use a lot of lube, go slow, and be gentle.
5:40 PM Apr 25th
via web
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Completely misheard a coworker say what I thought was, "a gentleman's fart." Hilarious.
9:08 AM Apr 16th
via web
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"What would you have seriously done if we won the lottery?"
"No more regular showers. ONLY GOLDEN ONES."
8:08 PM Mar 30th
via web
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Sexy and I Know it cover:
6:37 PM Mar 17th
via web
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This gum? It's got like... crystals and shit. This is way better than that sweet mint crap I was chewing before.
12:42 PM Mar 1st
via web
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"it's a fun way to say slut." - Dane, regarding the word 'floozy'
3:15 PM Feb 28th
via Twitter for iPhone
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@ OMG it's actually all real pictures of a cat. HAHAHHA
2:29 PM Feb 21st
via web
in reply to PammyHolland
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@ Is... is it also a play? I see it was written and also directed by Dav Pilkey.
2:28 PM Feb 21st
via web
in reply to PammyHolland
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@ AMAZING.
2:28 PM Feb 21st
via web
in reply to PammyHolland
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Mother of god... these mashies are amazing.
5:30 PM Feb 20th
via web
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"it's nuts. It's nuts?! We're only at it's nuts?!" -candra
2:04 PM Feb 16th
via Twitter for iPhone
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Obligatory 'I just remembered twitter is a thing that exists,' tweet.
10:02 AM Feb 16th
via web
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Come on, HBO. The sooner you offer @ to non-cable subscribers, the sooner I'll buy it. What I won't buy is cable.
2:07 PM Jan 18th
via web
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Tell Congress: Don’t censor the web!
7:49 AM Jan 18th
via Tweet Button
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Fuck, JJ. Find a new genre of tv show. Why ISLANDS? Why not a mysterious inlet? Why not a fjord?
4:04 PM Jan 15th
via web
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I blame AC. *dies*
4:03 PM Jan 15th
via web
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"Yo... is this Janessa? ... Stop playin' girl, why you sound like a dude?"
Manfriend gets the best wrong numbers.
11:33 AM Jan 14th
via web
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