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alecowen

  1. You'll attract more flies with a condom full of honey than a condom full of vinegar. about 1 hour ago via Twitter for iPhone
  2. Thanks for honoring our great men and women who give service to this great country, @Cinnabon! 12:00 PM May 28th via web
  3. Tonight I performed stand-up comedy for the first time in my life. Earlier today I met @pattonoswalt. 'twas a good omen. #soblessedsundays 10:31 PM May 27th via Twitter for iPhone
  4. Jails are getting really nice nowadays. twitter.com/alecowen/statu… 11:01 PM May 23rd via Twitter for iPhone
  5. If I never hear the song "Moves Like Jagger" again, it will be because I am a good person with a kind heart. 3:47 PM May 23rd via Twitter for iPhone
  6. RT IF YOU SUCK AT SHIT 2:18 PM May 21st via web
  7. If you're tired of Rock-Paper-Scissors you can always try a friendly game of Pitbull-Toddler-Chocolate 12:54 PM May 18th via web
  8. I just saw Dennis Rodman on TV so I assume he was diagnosed with a terminal STD. Get well soon, buddy. 12:48 PM May 18th via web
  9. There are 170 hidden mickeys in Disneyland. HINT: they are in every open drink I've happened to pass by. 1:44 PM May 14th via Twitter for iPhone
  10. Told my new commercial agent that in this town they call me "the Pagemaster," 'cause I book so much. Pretty sure she jizzed. 1:24 PM May 12th via web
  11. Things that make you go "hnnnnngggggg" 11:23 AM May 11th via Twitter for iPhone
  12. #ff @PrinceTweets2U 10:02 AM May 11th via Twitter for iPhone
  13. FYI - Dennis Miller's twitter feed is exactly what you thought it'd be. “@DennisDMZ: Val Atkins makes Jacyln Smith look like Isak Dinesen!” 6:28 PM May 10th via Twitter for iPhone
  14. Police frontman reviews indie band's new album about former professional wrestler scathingly: Sting stings Ting Tings' "Sting" @pattonoswalt 11:12 PM May 9th via Twitter for iPhone
  15. “@hoackhoass: a very heavy burtation tonight” It's pretty darrison over here. 10:15 PM May 9th via Twitter for iPhone
  • Name Alec Owen
  • Location Los Angeles, CA
  • Web http://www.5secon...
  • Bio I'm an actor and a comedian who is a musician and a writer. I am not MMA fighter Alex Owen, although I'm sure we have a lot in common.
662 Following 491 Followers 15 Listed
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