Ahm76
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Do you remember back when Mom used to go to aerobics class and leave us in that childcare room that smelled like cum and baby wipes?
about 4 hours ago
via web
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May I tweet a list of stuff I wanna sniff. ok. Jack Tripper. Caek Baebeh. Rabbit breath. That one boy with the hurty feelings. My own stink.
about 4 hours ago
via web
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That concludes this supplementary episode of Ahm's Saturday Morning Retweets! It's a holiday; lighten up!
about 9 hours ago
via Favstar.FM
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Don't ever put a child in a plastic bag, unless it's dead already - then it's a good idea.
10:25 PM May 21st
via web
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Sending an important message over Facebook is like filing your taxes with a Lite-Brite.
11:32 AM May 22nd
via web
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Oh please darling, I don't go east or west or north or south of the street i live on. -Snobby Shut In
1:35 PM May 23rd
via web
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SEXT: i throw a dinner plate at the wall you're ruining this marriage we make up and kiss under the house oh there's the cat he looks dead
2:17 PM May 23rd
via web
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This whole "I'm socially awkward" thing is completely unacceptable gentlemen take off the hoodie and learn to make eye contact
1:19 PM May 24th
via Twitter for iPad
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It's time for another episode of Ahm's Saturday Morning Retweets! Enjoy them, or smell a fresh pile of tonsil stones.
about 9 hours ago
via Favstar.FM
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@ thaaaank you
about 9 hours ago
via web
in reply to citybookman
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Last year, I fell down a time well and landed back in 7th grade. Here is my electronic diary from that day:
about 11 hours ago
via web
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@ I was told this tweet was "nasty and mean." RT @: 50★ tweet!
about 12 hours ago
via web
in reply to favstar_bot2
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@ Great, now we all know about your weird fantasy scenario.
about 16 hours ago
via web
in reply to shanenickerson
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Coordinating gemstone toenail inlay
3:23 PM May 27th
via Echofon
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Plus size bridesmaid gowns
2:49 PM May 27th
via Echofon
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Laundromats are like, "For 2 quarters, you may enter our grimey Satan closet to drop your urgent coffee dookload."
1:46 PM May 27th
via Echofon
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@ Don't act like you weren't a bolo guy in '91. You look like an ex-bolo guy.
11:01 PM May 26th
via web
in reply to robdelaney
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Every time some lecherous dirtfellow says "milky white thighs," picture Bill Clinton in his tiny jogging shorts.
9:36 PM May 26th
via web
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Dirtfellows: Rather than throwing a dirtsmooch at a woman from a car window, try tossing a wrapped PB&J.
5:26 PM May 26th
via Echofon
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My 3-year-old son is eating turd spheres straight outta his butt like a gangsta! (He is not a gangster, he is a rabbit.)
5:12 PM May 26th
via web
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- Name Ahm
- Location E. Hollywood
- Web http://myfavorite...
- Bio Don't get weird just cause I'm bleeding.
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