afoolishwit
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Yes, projectile sneezing is a thing. And so is TiVo. And working late on Wednesdays.
43 minutes ago
from web
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Leave your spoilers out of my Twitter stream, and I won't projectile sneeze on your TV. OH TOO LATE
about 1 hour ago
from web
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I'm just saying, "retail" and "rectal" contain many of the same letters for a reason.
about 1 hour ago
from web
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There's a word for when your work shifts are less than 10 hours apart, but it's not meant for polite ears.
about 1 hour ago
from web
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The electric impulses in her brain couldn't power a small clock radio.
about 5 hours ago
from txt
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@ I'm not - just bummed that marriage equality didn't pass.
about 9 hours ago
from web
in reply to srhercule
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At this rate, I'm going to run out of places I'm not annoyed with, and expatriate to the moon. Unless the moon also sucks.
about 9 hours ago
from web
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Necessity is the mother of invention, and I just invented the Snot Bib. Investors?
about 10 hours ago
from web
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@ "Cats"
about 10 hours ago
from web
in reply to jordanrubin
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@ ...burn?
about 24 hours ago
from web
in reply to Blue_Crab
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I'm trying to be less passive-aggressive these days. Unlike SOME people.
7:23 PM Dec 1st
from web
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Needed: flaming nancy boy to make me look like a sad clown hooker, ASAP.
4:50 PM Dec 1st
from txt
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RT @: I think the saddest thing about Comcast buying NBC is that Jack Donaghy will never get to be CEO of General Electric.
4:14 AM Dec 1st
from web
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Yesterday, I confessed to suffering from extreme nostalgia. Today, I wouldn't want to talk to me either.
7:27 PM Nov 30th
from web
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RT @: if you carry on a long conversational thread on Twitter, It's like leaving your blinds open. We can see you. This isn't
...
7:24 PM Nov 30th
from web
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@ I'll give you a clue...it's a digit between 4 and 6, rhymes with "live" and starts with F.
7:21 PM Nov 30th
from web
in reply to Krud
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*shudder* After my last few tweets I should probably shower for a couple of hours with a steel wool loofah to scrub the hipster off.
12:16 AM Nov 30th
from web
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Suck it, Kay Jewelers. The way to my heart is with a Diana F+ and 120 slide film and someday my prince will come.
12:14 AM Nov 30th
from web
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I wanted to dislike it so when someone asked me how it was, I could say "...Orange." But the orange turned out to be beautiful. Dammit, Wes.
11:45 PM Nov 29th
from web
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Oh yeah, I saw THE FANTASTIC MR. FOX earlier today. Just...unadulterated pure delight. So much fun.
11:34 PM Nov 29th
from web
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- Name Emmy
- Location Frederick, MD (for now)
- Web http://favstar.fm...
- Bio Over-analytical and pretentious unhipster chick. Human sugar glider, notoriously. Hobbies include making jokes on the Internet.
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