AdelesExBF
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Whenever Adele would see a baby, she would always ask me, "Haven't you always wondered what a baby would taste like?"
2:47 PM May 27th
via web
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For Halloween, Adele dressed up as a KKK member than straight-up forgot to take the costume off for 4 straight months.
12:59 PM May 18th
via web
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Adele safety-pinned her vagina lips together to protect against what she called "Surprise Babies."
8:05 PM Mar 25th
via web
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Adele has a large back tattoo of a Gateway Cow shitting on a Mac computer, because she was positive Apple was going no where.
1:46 PM Mar 12th
via web
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Adele called black people 'too-tans.'
5:06 PM Mar 10th
via web
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When Adele was too tired to walk to the bathroom in the middle of the night, she'd use the bottom drawer of the fridge.
5:23 AM Mar 9th
via Twitter for iPhone
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Adele would rub the inside of a potato chip bag on her face to get her T-zone just the right amount of oily.
12:51 PM Mar 6th
via web
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Adele dressed up as a Nazi soldier for every Halloween and for some reason, Christmas.
7:16 AM Mar 6th
via Twitter for iPhone
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Adele saved all the lint I found in her belly button while having sex and sculpted it into what she called a Lust Bunny. It was life-size
2:55 PM Mar 4th
via Twitter for iPhone
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Adele could not figure out how to unwrap a stick of butter. She straight-up could not do it. I did it for her every single time.
8:28 AM Mar 4th
via web
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Adele repeatedly tried to patent "the act of whistling" because she thought it was a "super lucrative untapped market."
9:25 AM Feb 29th
via web
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Adele claimed she was a vegetarian but that "eating pork doesn't count."
7:10 AM Feb 29th
via Twitter for Android
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When I was upset about my mother being in the hospital, Adele asked if she should call the Wah-mbulance.
12:51 PM Feb 28th
via web
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Adele would never explain why, but she always wore thick elbow pads and knee pads under her clothes.
6:54 PM Feb 27th
via web
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There wasn't an elevator we rode where Adele wouldn't press all the buttons then also pull the fire alarm.
10:00 AM Feb 27th
via Twitter for Android
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Adele didn't understand how perfume worked and would drink entire bottles at a time then get angry that no one could smell it.
6:50 PM Feb 26th
via web
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Adele once bet me 5 dollars she could eat only cat food for one whole month. Sadly, she won the bet.
5:14 PM Feb 26th
via Twitter for Android
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Adele's computer is completely full of her homemade 'armpit fart' sounds. For Christmas, she made mix CDs of these sounds for my family
10:35 AM Feb 26th
via web
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Adele would regularly confuse her left and right and then try and convince me that I was wrong when I'd correct her.
8:34 PM Feb 25th
via web
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Six separate times, Adele accidentally tweezed off her entire left eyebrow.
2:44 PM Feb 25th
via web
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- Name Adele's Ex BF
- Bio You've heard her side, now hear mine. I'm not a bad guy. I did what I had to do. TRUST ME.
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