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adamisacson

  1. Someone left two strawberries on my chair. Now I know how fruit-on-the-bottom yogurt feels. Pretty pissed off, apparently.
  2. Having a huge cup of coffee in the backyard. A mosquito just bit me. I bet it's going to have a very productive day. Or lifespan.
  3. A few drinks, a lovely summer evening, and the conversation turns to... healthcare reform. Washington, you are a very hard place to love.
  4. I'm across the river, in Virginia. Though it's the old Confederacy, talking like Foghorn Leghorn isn't helping me blend in with the locals.
  5. "Objects in mirror are cooler than they appear." Let's hope.
  6. I sincerely believe that Fe is the best element on the periodic table. Actually, no, I don't really. I was just being ironic.
  7. I hate putting on a pair of jeans that have just come out of the dryer. It's sort of a hot-button issue for me.
  8. I hope none of that genetically modified corn ever becomes sentient. Because imagine how boring.
  9. Usually, by its 10th sequel a series is hardly even phoning it in. Not Apollo 11. They really kept it fresh with the whole moon thing.
  10. I caught a bit of Olbermann and Maddow tonight. Did you realize everybody everywhere is a big shameless hypocrite? Explains a lot, I guess.
  11. Whenever I see the hemp granola display at Whole Foods, I have to wonder how many of my fellow Americans have actually tried to smoke it.
  12. If it's not called the Sears Tower anymore, what happens to the warranty on my dishwasher?
  13. It's "crunch time" here at work. I'm eating granola and Doritos at my desk.
  14. 4-year-old: "Did you shave today, Daddy?" Me: "Yes. My face is as smooth a a baby's bottom." 4-year-old: "EEEEEEWWGROSSS!"
  15. If hearing "Me and Bobby McGee" makes you worry about elderly baby boomers and Social Security, you've probably been in Washington too long.
  16. A bike-messenger bag, a 90-degree day. A fetching diagonal stripe across my shirt. My "sweat seatbelt" and I will be hiding in my office.
  17. This is America. "Wise Latina women" can be Supreme Court justices, and "big peevish weenies" can be Republican senators. Hearing adjourned.
  18. Is there a surefire way to remember people's names after I meet them? I've heard "empathy for others" works well, but I'd prefer a shortcut.
  19. The FedEx trucks seem to go way faster than the ambulances in this town. If anything happens to me, forget 911. Schedule a pickup.
  20. I've heard Michael Jackson's "The Way You Make Me Feel" in three public places today. The way that makes me feel is angry and bewildered.