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Ireland
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United States
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adam_fogle

  1. Yo soy taco truck.
  2. At the barber. Can't decide whether to get the 3 inch or the 6 inch hi-top fade.
  3. When I let my mustache grow out, it looks a lot like Tom Selleck's mustache (when he was a toddler).
  4. Anyone know a good lawyer? Just found an onion in my Subway sandwich.
  5. I'm so sick of women never confusing me for Usher.
  6. Throw on an old pair of Bugle Boy jeans and voilà! You're instantly wearing a real-life cloak of invisibility.
  7. Every time I leave my house I say, "That's one small step for man; one giant joystick push for wheelchairkind."
  8. The first meeting of our Insomniacs Anonymous group will be this Monday at 3am.
  9. I was really into this chick until I found out she was the drummer from Hanson.
  10. All done with my Christmas shopping for @sbellelauren #FF instagr.am/p/LRYi5EBd5M/
  11. If you've seen a baby gazelle try to escape from a pride of lions then you've seen me try to work a visual metaphor into a conversation.
  12. GOD BLESS AMERCIA!
  13. This November you have a choice for president: The guy who may not have been born in America or the guy who can't spell America.
  14. @WitStreamdotcom barackobama.tumblr.com
  15. blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
  16. "The Hatfields & McCoys" is loosely based on the true story of my long-standing blood feud with my wireless router.
  17. Lots of dogs looking like cats these days.
  18. If you look closely at the Pepperidge Farm logo, you can see Mitt Romney dancing to "Love Shack" by The B-52's.
  19. I long for a simpler time. Back before computers and iPhones. When people wore 37 layers of clothes and murdered each other over livestock.
  20. This Miami face-eater story has really left a bad taste in my mouth.