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When I have a baby Im going to get its name tattooed on my neck. That'll prove that even though I'm not around, its always close to my mind!about 22 hours agofrom UberTwitter
I rely on the accuracy of group-think waaaay too much I've discovered. It'll inevitably spell my demise.about 22 hours agofrom UberTwitter
This white couple is pushing an asian baby in a stroller. What's worse: to think of them as kidnappers or barren?about 23 hours agofrom UberTwitter
A soldier in full fatigues just got off my airtrain. No one clapped or saluted him. 2005, this is not.about 23 hours agofrom UberTwitter
Heading home to Seattle today, where all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the children are above average.7:21 AM Dec 21stfrom web
My roommate has just passed the 16 hour mark for time spent in bed. Seize the day, indeed.3:02 PM Dec 20thfrom UberTwitter
R.I.P. LuAnn Platter. You are with Buckley now.11:34 AM Dec 20thfrom web
Are we all going to look back on the 00's as the decade of 1,000 middle-east thrillers and cringe? Some of them really suck.5:29 PM Dec 19thfrom UberTwitter
Quincy Pondexter of the Wash. Huskies has "Q. Pondexter" on the back of his jersey. As if there is another Pondexter...12:43 PM Dec 19thfrom web
BioI am a sometimes funny stand-up comedian living in New York City. Born in West Seattle. Collegized in L.A. Likes women, subway fights, cheap sushi and shaving.
