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acornking

  1. If I had a shilling for every courtesan I made time with, I'd probably be in 18th century Europe. And wicked awesome.
  2. If I'm going to lift weights, I like doing it in a gym I could be shanked at any moment. Bed-Stuy YMCA, I'm looking in your direction.
  3. The Blackeyed Peas were just named the most over used band by out-of-touch advertising creatives (by me). Enough already, they suck.
  4. Happy Anniversary Sesame Street! Cheers to 40 years of having a hand up your ass.
  5. @danieltosh Do you think heroin could be considered a gateway drug?
  6. Happy Guy Fawkes night! Gimmie some candy. http://bit.ly/30zNw4
  7. Hopefully the Yankees can knock the jheri curl off that massive tool (Pedro Martinez) tonight.
  8. Leftover Halloween candy = 10am mini Snickers consumption.
  9. Happy Halloween! http://bit.ly/G4fAx
  10. @frenchchrisrock was shandling on conan? WTF. I didn't think he was still performing.
  11. I would kill a grown-ass-man for a chocolate shake right now.
  12. How does Wanda Sykes get a show? Not funny.
  13. I'm sure I'll be chastised for this but...U2 is wicked overrated. I mean c'mon, they're not that good. Cheers to hype.
  14. What I learned from Hist Channel today: Satin is coming. Ocean will envelop us. Structures crumble after 20 yrs. Nostradamus told us so.
  15. I thing The History Channel has stock in programming about "end of days" apocalyptic events. Way to be downers, dudes.
  16. Only way I could get lazier is if there were a toilet in my couch. I should invent that! Nah, I'll just continue sitting here doing nothing.
  17. Ok, the Snuggie people have gone too far. http://bit.ly/3hSFje
  18. This one wins my favorite pet costume of the year. Creep-tastic. http://bit.ly/1xF2rf
  19. Wow. This is how Russia sees us? http://bit.ly/44MfQ
  20. Improve An Album Cover! http://bit.ly/1KVEJa