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achewood

  1. A man, a plan, a canal, malaria. about 20 hours ago from web
  2. There is LITERALLY no Chinese food within five miles of my house. This is LITERALLY an outrage. I am WOUND UP. about 23 hours ago from web
  3. I have half a cord of firewood, unstacked, in my driveway. I did this to myself. 8:46 PM Nov 13th from web
  4. If I ever die, I hope it is at the hands of a furious Italian named "Vafanculo." 1:06 AM Nov 13th from web
  5. Mis-read headline: FIRE DESTROYS WORKPLACE SHOOTING 3:22 PM Nov 12th from web
  6. @gilescoren Chug a full-calorie Coca-Cola and nod in the direction of America as your body does a full-reboot sans emesis. Drinker's Secret. 2:43 AM Nov 12th from web
  7. @slow_lane RT http://bit.ly/wbrKp -- I met that dude in Austin, he showed me his great portfolio and gave me his ukulele CD. 12:55 AM Nov 12th from web
  8. @jaybill -- oh shit, you guys went out for food after? I would so0o00 have joined you. 12:52 AM Nov 12th from web
  9. http://twitpic.com/p7dxw - TMBG singing about hydrogen 10:41 PM Nov 11th from TwitPic
  10. http://twitpic.com/p7c9k - They Might Be Giants singing about Cadmium 10:18 PM Nov 11th from TwitPic
  11. @jaybill -- I get about 750 words an hour out of this technique. Plus, delicious juice. 3:30 PM Nov 11th from web
  12. Getting in shape for the TMBG concert at the Crystal Ballroom tonight. Screaming really hard into the empty carrot juice bottle, now. 3:30 PM Nov 11th from web
  13. Jumping jacks, flinging myself off of low decks, yelling into an empty bottle of carrot juice. Trying to get in writing mode. 1:51 PM Nov 11th from web
  14. Angela Merkel: She is not someone you pull on by her boobs. 11:47 PM Nov 10th from web
  15. There’s no Day for apologizing to our parents for all the stupid shit we put them through. Perhaps because we never finish before they die. 11:12 PM Nov 9th from web
  16. @serafinowicz -- laser toner. #jokeeggs 2:58 PM Nov 9th from web
  17. Italian food is like pornography. I can’t define it, but I know when I have paid too much. 1:16 AM Nov 9th from web
  18. "Hey, please send me a link to a drawing of the female genitalia that looks inexplicably like a generous penguin." OK! http://bit.ly/1sBudO 3:55 PM Nov 8th from web
  19. I've gone from documentaries about hoarders to hooligans. What's next? Huguenots? Hope not -- they're my *least* favorite Calvinists. 11:57 PM Nov 7th from web
  20. @ten01chef - will the cheeks be on the menu? The cheek is the finest part of the beef. 5:01 PM Nov 7th from web
  • Name achewood
  • Location Portland, Oregon, USA
  • Web http://www.achewo...
  • Bio Extroverted maniac with shit on his mind
15 Following 2,207 Followers 109 Listed
Benjamin Parks TheParthenon Stephen Fry FoodCartsPortland Chepe19 freezepop Robert Popper Peter Serafinowicz James McNew Giles Coren Jaybill McCarthy Ten 01 Chef slow_lane epark Po