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achewood

  1. A man, a plan, a canal, malaria.
  2. There is LITERALLY no Chinese food within five miles of my house. This is LITERALLY an outrage. I am WOUND UP.
  3. I have half a cord of firewood, unstacked, in my driveway. I did this to myself.
  4. If I ever die, I hope it is at the hands of a furious Italian named "Vafanculo."
  5. Mis-read headline: FIRE DESTROYS WORKPLACE SHOOTING
  6. @gilescoren Chug a full-calorie Coca-Cola and nod in the direction of America as your body does a full-reboot sans emesis. Drinker's Secret.
  7. @slow_lane RT http://bit.ly/wbrKp -- I met that dude in Austin, he showed me his great portfolio and gave me his ukulele CD.
  8. @jaybill -- oh shit, you guys went out for food after? I would so0o00 have joined you.
  9. http://twitpic.com/p7dxw - TMBG singing about hydrogen
  10. http://twitpic.com/p7c9k - They Might Be Giants singing about Cadmium
  11. @jaybill -- I get about 750 words an hour out of this technique. Plus, delicious juice.
  12. Getting in shape for the TMBG concert at the Crystal Ballroom tonight. Screaming really hard into the empty carrot juice bottle, now.
  13. Jumping jacks, flinging myself off of low decks, yelling into an empty bottle of carrot juice. Trying to get in writing mode.
  14. Angela Merkel: She is not someone you pull on by her boobs.
  15. There’s no Day for apologizing to our parents for all the stupid shit we put them through. Perhaps because we never finish before they die.
  16. @serafinowicz -- laser toner. #jokeeggs
  17. Italian food is like pornography. I can’t define it, but I know when I have paid too much.
  18. "Hey, please send me a link to a drawing of the female genitalia that looks inexplicably like a generous penguin." OK! http://bit.ly/1sBudO
  19. I've gone from documentaries about hoarders to hooligans. What's next? Huguenots? Hope not -- they're my *least* favorite Calvinists.
  20. @ten01chef - will the cheeks be on the menu? The cheek is the finest part of the beef.