aaroncregger
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Homesteaders is on Tanga! Enter to win one by retweeting this & following @ details:
7:00 AM Feb 22nd
via HootSuite
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I can't believe Mary's parents bought that whole "pregnant virgin" story.
6:07 AM May 28th, 1997
via web
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Up there on the cross, alone, wounded, bleeding… I bet Jesus wished he'd gone with that Loaves 'n' Fishes Family Restaurant idea.
8:38 PM Dec 8th, 2011
via web
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Get into the Christmas spirit by remembering how cool Joseph was about an invisible guy impregnating his lady Mary.
4:51 PM Dec 7th, 2011
via web
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This holiday season, no matter what your religion is, please take a moment to reflect on why it’s better than all the other ones.
6:57 PM Dec 7th, 2011
via web
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I'd pay $50,000 to watch Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann play Trivial Pursuit.
4:28 PM Dec 5th, 2011
via Echofon
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I keep a fully decorated Christmas tree in an empty walk-in closet. I drag it out each year and plug it in. Suck on that baby Jesus.
9:43 PM Dec 5th, 2011
via Echofon
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As a comedian, you have to decide
whether to give the masses what they want, or whether to give them something much better.
8:38 AM Nov 27th, 2011
via Twitter for iPhone
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Too many friends? We have the perfect solution!
9:30 PM Nov 26th, 2011
via TweetDeck
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Libertarianism is like Scientology in that it's a huge scam. Also, both believe in Xenu and that Battlefield Earth was awesome.
11:55 AM Nov 23rd, 2011
via web
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If you want to be more like Jesus, don't have kids.
4:25 PM Nov 21st, 2011
via Tweetbot for iOS
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I don't think I'll ever love anything nearly as much as pretentious ninth graders pretend to love "1984"
3:20 PM Nov 16th, 2011
via web
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My drunk history about Abe Lincoln is more factually correct than Bill O'Reilly's new book.
1:43 PM Nov 15th, 2011
via web
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I honestly can't remember the last time I hit myself in the head with a hammer.
8:35 AM Nov 15th, 2011
via TwitBird
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And then Tony is like "why would I get a scar LIKE THAT from eating pussy?" Why would you get ANY scar from eating pussy, Tony?
5:42 PM Nov 14th, 2011
via web
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All of the Republican candidates for President remind me of characters on Twin Peaks.
11:23 AM Nov 13th, 2011
via web
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The punishment for naming a child 'Tanner' should be 4 years in prison and 500 hours of community service.
6:31 PM Nov 9th, 2011
via web
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Really glad Evanescence is still giving depressed middle school girls something to be embarrassed about in two years
10:49 AM Nov 9th, 2011
via web
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It'd be nice if the pre-requisite to being a politician in the United States of America didn't involve being a lying sack of shit.
2:42 PM Nov 8th, 2011
via Echofon
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I bet Hugh Jackman and his wife have some crazy hot heterosexual sex as soon as he comes home from doing his ONE MAN BROADWAY CABARET SHOW.
4:40 PM Nov 7th, 2011
via web
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- Name Aaron Cregger
- Location Virginia
- Bio Keep on the crummy side
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