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aaroncomedian

  1. My phone just autocorrected "Mr. Gatti's" to "Mr. Fatties." Okay, I GET IT. I'll suggest somewhere else for dinner. about 15 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone
  2. #FF @HeyItsMeKaren because she's awesome. about 17 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone in reply to HeyItsMeKaren
  3. What time is it when you go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty. Yeah, it's that kind of afternoon. about 17 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone
  4. I just bit the hell out of the inside of my cheek...that kinda makes me a "face eater" too, right? NOW, can I get on TV? about 19 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone
  5. My hope for your Friday: youtube.com/watch?v=o4GtOd… about 22 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone
  6. Tonight's lullaby courtesy of the 'Three Amigos,' tipping my sombrero to a very classy Mr. Martin Short: youtube.com/watch?v=ViHENV… 6:47 PM May 31st via Twitter for iPhone
  7. You know that "nowhere else I'd rather be" feeling? I've got the exact opposite of that. 12:51 PM May 31st via Twitter for iPhone
  8. It's sad that an article titled 'Fat Stigma Hard to Shake' makes me think, "Mmmmm...shake." 10:30 AM May 31st via Twitter for iPhone
  9. SEVERELY out of shape when your arms gets tired from 30 minutes of power-steering, right? 6:06 AM May 31st via Twitter for iPhone
  10. If not for thick-ass Persian hair and wicked bed head, I'd shower a whole lot less. You're welcome, everybody. 5:56 AM May 31st via Twitter for iPhone
  11. International judges sentence Charles Taylor to 50 years for war crimes which is so weird because I'm wearing his shoes right now! 6:07 AM May 30th via Twitter for iPhone
  12. Damn...never realized just how many windows we hav--had. 1:18 AM May 30th via Twitter for iPhone
  13. "Nebraska couple wear matching outfits every day for 35 years." You know, and I bet it's TOTALLY HIS idea too. 3:45 PM May 29th via Twitter for iPhone
  14. Today's headline: 'Skydiver Planning World Record 120,000-foot Jump From Space.' Future Headline: 'Skydiver Found Dead.' 3:36 PM May 29th via Twitter for iPhone
  15. “@MarkAgee: I'm not there, Margaret. It's me, God.” "Margaret who? Look, I'm REALLY busy... -G" 6:46 AM May 29th via Twitter for iPhone
  16. “@Shalasz: Everyone in Hermosa Beach is drunk. #exceptme” Fix that shit, dude. 9:25 PM May 26th via Twitter for iPhone
  17. I haven't been everywhere I want to be, but I have more than I could ever want or need. Thank you all for the fun birthday wishes. 4:34 PM May 26th via Twitter for iPhone
  18. Pretty great birthday so far... twitter.com/aaroncomedian/… 7:41 AM May 26th via web