aaronadler
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Molly interrupts me every time I sing Zou Bisou Bisou to her.
about 16 hours ago
via Twitter for iPhone
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Life is a rubik's cube which can only be solved with patience, love, and peeling off and resticking the color squares onto the right sides.
7:17 AM May 29th
via Twitter for iPhone
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When people say 50 Shades of Grey contains 'bum sex,' does that mean anal or hobo?
8:36 AM May 27th
via web
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It must be a pain in the ass to track down everyone in Rusted Root for those Enterprise Rental royalty checks.
7:37 PM May 14th
via Twitter for iPhone
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I hope the company that turned Battleship into a movie is turning Freddy Got Fingered into a board game.
7:43 AM May 24th
via Twitter for iPhone
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I can't decide whether to squander my night watching Netflix, iTunes, Hulu, Slingbox, Boxee, LiveHub, Roku, Vudu, or Aereo.
5:06 PM May 22nd
via web
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Somehow those guys in washington square park always know when I'm looking for kind buds.
3:41 PM May 19th
via Twitter for iPhone
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Pretty sure I just saw a homeless guy wearing a hundred-dollar Fjällräven backback.
11:55 AM May 19th
via web
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This small-batch artisanal pink slime from brooklyn is amazing.
10:06 AM May 18th
via Twitter for iPhone
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Platinum-cut oatmeal is so much better.
9:50 AM May 17th
via web
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Mother's Day: Sidewalks filled with tired fathers lugging their kids around.
7:08 AM May 13th
via web
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It must have taken a lot of CGI to make @ look that tired in The Descendants.
7:11 AM Apr 23rd
via web
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The new flushless toilets in LA pretty much balance out the broken toilets in NY you have to flush six times.
8:56 AM Apr 20th
via Twitter for iPhone
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I hate being viewer number 18,000,000 of a really cool youtube video.
1:19 PM Apr 19th
via Twitter for iPhone
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If I die at California Pizza Kitchen please transport my body so my family can find me somewhere cooler.
1:08 PM Apr 18th
via Twitter for iPhone
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They should spell it Hurtz rental car
12:30 PM Apr 18th
via Twitter for iPhone
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People in LA keep pitching me movie treatments while waiting in line for the bathroom.
12:45 PM Apr 16th
via web
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Just got a new high score on HangoverVille.
9:03 AM Apr 15th
via web
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Feeling less crazed affection for Apple now that it's being run by mere mortals.
4:27 PM Apr 12th
via Twitter for iPhone
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You know that thing where a person will laugh at something so hard they lean back and start involuntarily clapping? I want to do that.
10:30 AM Apr 12th
via Twitter for iPhone
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