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aaronadler

  1. Molly interrupts me every time I sing Zou Bisou Bisou to her. about 16 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone
  2. Life is a rubik's cube which can only be solved with patience, love, and peeling off and resticking the color squares onto the right sides. 7:17 AM May 29th via Twitter for iPhone
  3. When people say 50 Shades of Grey contains 'bum sex,' does that mean anal or hobo? 8:36 AM May 27th via web
  4. I hope the company that turned Battleship into a movie is turning Freddy Got Fingered into a board game. 7:43 AM May 24th via Twitter for iPhone
  5. I can't decide whether to squander my night watching Netflix, iTunes, Hulu, Slingbox, Boxee, LiveHub, Roku, Vudu, or Aereo. 5:06 PM May 22nd via web
  6. Somehow those guys in washington square park always know when I'm looking for kind buds. 3:41 PM May 19th via Twitter for iPhone
  7. Pretty sure I just saw a homeless guy wearing a hundred-dollar Fjällräven backback. 11:55 AM May 19th via web
  8. This small-batch artisanal pink slime from brooklyn is amazing. 10:06 AM May 18th via Twitter for iPhone
  9. Platinum-cut oatmeal is so much better. 9:50 AM May 17th via web
  10. Mother's Day: Sidewalks filled with tired fathers lugging their kids around. 7:08 AM May 13th via web
  11. It must have taken a lot of CGI to make @GeorgeClooney look that tired in The Descendants. 7:11 AM Apr 23rd via web
  12. The new flushless toilets in LA pretty much balance out the broken toilets in NY you have to flush six times. 8:56 AM Apr 20th via Twitter for iPhone
  13. I hate being viewer number 18,000,000 of a really cool youtube video. 1:19 PM Apr 19th via Twitter for iPhone
  14. If I die at California Pizza Kitchen please transport my body so my family can find me somewhere cooler. 1:08 PM Apr 18th via Twitter for iPhone
  15. They should spell it Hurtz rental car 12:30 PM Apr 18th via Twitter for iPhone
  16. People in LA keep pitching me movie treatments while waiting in line for the bathroom. 12:45 PM Apr 16th via web
  17. Just got a new high score on HangoverVille. 9:03 AM Apr 15th via web
  18. Feeling less crazed affection for Apple now that it's being run by mere mortals. 4:27 PM Apr 12th via Twitter for iPhone
  19. You know that thing where a person will laugh at something so hard they lean back and start involuntarily clapping? I want to do that. 10:30 AM Apr 12th via Twitter for iPhone