_laurenh
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What's worse than having to listen to bad music? Catching yourself singing along. (If your mama gave it to you baby girl, let it show.)
7:31 AM Oct 27th
from web
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The MJ jokes never end. (516): Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
3:12 PM Oct 20th
from web
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Displaying my collection of supersized Dayquil and Nyquil bottles in my window. The neighbors should know I take self-medication seriously.
1:26 PM Oct 19th
from web
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Lucero in RIchmond tonight!
4:12 PM Oct 14th
from web
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Don't tell me cupcakes and Hi-C aren't part of a balanced diet.
9:08 AM Oct 12th
from Seesmic
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I am surrounded by shitty rap music. Can’t decide if I should keep cringing, scream, or just register for a federal firearms license.
12:10 PM Oct 3rd
from web
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Pretty sure this cherry slurpee is going to be the highlight of my day.
12:35 PM Oct 2nd
from web
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I consider the entire conversation I just had with you a waste of brain activity. Congratulations! No, there's no prize.
4:48 PM Sep 22nd
from web
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There is a rat in my kitchen. Not a mouse. A RAT. I'm eating takeout until it falls for the traps we put out...or maybe until we move.
5:22 PM Sep 19th
from web
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@ And I have been sadly absent from Twitter. One of these days I'll make up for it by tweeting obsessively...ok, hopefully not.
11:44 PM Sep 17th
from twhirl
in reply to russpalmer
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@ Well, whoever you're replying to is either tired, drunk, or has a horrible comprehension of English.
11:43 PM Sep 17th
from twhirl
in reply to russpalmer
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@ - That's the way to save the Earth. Don't waste water washing wine glasses.
11:40 PM Sep 17th
from twhirl
in reply to sista_flapjack
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@ catty. definitely. when have you ever seen a female caddy?
11:38 PM Sep 17th
from twhirl
in reply to russpalmer
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Bringing a bottle of wine to bed with you is probably not a good plan. (I will have a personal response to this theory in the morning.)
11:36 PM Sep 17th
from twhirl
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Just texted Mom to tell her I'm coming home for the night. Her response? "Be careful I love you. PS bring wine"
2:20 PM Sep 8th
from web
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I've been waiting for some inspiration for an awesome 1000th tweet. At least now I have more sympathy for those with performance anxiety.
4:09 PM Sep 7th
from web
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I bet I'll feel the same anxiety at the end of every August, even when I grow up and become a real person. Changing my name to Peter Pan.
4:00 PM Aug 29th
from web
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Writing your dry-erase calendar for the month should not be so sad of a task. Damn you, September, and your start of classes.
3:58 PM Aug 29th
from web
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Have decided that every job should serve wine at staff meetings.
1:43 PM Aug 29th
from web
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Haha I think @ is my favorite
11:38 PM Aug 27th
from web
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- Name Lauren Howard
- Location Charlottesville, VA
- Web http://cisne.tumb...
- Bio I offset my overall amazingness with a tendency to be self-deprecating. Total package, right here.
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