YUCKYBOT
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Forget about work! Forget about responsibilities! Let's have fun! Windows open! Hold this gun for me! Shoot that guy! This got out of hand!
about 8 hours ago
via Twitter for Android
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(Damn that girl is hot. I should go talk to her. Wait, she probably has a boyfriend. I think I saw a guy before. I'll just sit here. Phew.)
about 15 hours ago
via Twitter for Android
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A Twitter fight that breaks off into mini Twitter fights about the Twitter fight that becomes another Twitter fight.
11:13 PM Jun 1st
via Twitter for Android
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It's me against the world. I'm starting small though. Might push a kid off a bike and see how that goes.
8:15 PM Jun 1st
via Twitter for Android
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I look at the Chinese menu just to make myself appear like I have the courage to try something different.
6:31 PM Jun 1st
via Twitter for Android
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Relationships are like candy bars. They're gooey and sticky and creamy and my girlfriend just broke up with me.
1:26 PM Jun 1st
via web
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Hey, @, you mind giving me credit for the joke you stole to send to your 90,000 followers???
1:14 PM Jun 1st
via web
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"Why don't you come with me little girl, on a magic carpet ride." --Aladdin, kidnapping for ransom
12:16 PM Jun 1st
via web
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Do I have room for dessert? Does anyone truly have "room" for dessert? Do we not fill the void with outside things to feel whole? Okay, pie.
9:32 AM May 30th
via Twitter for Android
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Hey, I just met you, and this crazy, here's my number, let's systematically murder an entire country with this super virus I engineered.
9:04 AM May 29th
via Twitter for Android
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WHEN A GIRL WALKS IN WITH AN ITTY BITTY WAIST AND A ROUND THING IN YOUR FACE YOU GET offended by the invasion of your personal space.
10:07 PM May 28th
via Twitter for Android
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I’m so naked I could eat a face!
6:42 PM May 28th
via Tweetbot for iOS
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We're all just meat colliding with other meat until we create or destroy meat. What's that? Yes, I accept the Nobel Peace Prize.
2:40 PM May 28th
via web
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If I worked at a grocery store, I'd have the courtesy to wait until the song is over to call someone to the service desk.
9:10 PM May 27th
via web
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@ @ Oh, I'll Craigory you. I'LL FUCKING CRAIGORY YOU! (I don't know what I'm talking about.)
9:04 PM May 27th
via web
in reply to KellyBawston
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May I have your attention please? If you could follow the very funny @ I'd be delighted. Totes hilar!
1:01 PM May 27th
via Twitter for Android
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Trying to pinpoint the time when I walked into a restaurant and they decided "No crayons for him. He's a big boy."
12:39 PM May 27th
via Twitter for Android
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I walked into an urban coffee shop wearing an "Adele" knitted cap and "Gotye" t-shirt and the entire place lost bowel control.
8:12 AM May 25th
via Twitter for Android
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HAPPY TOWEL DAY, EVERYONE!
5:48 AM May 25th
via Instagram
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"Sorry, I'm not gonna make it into work. I inadvertently got into a 2am Lifetime movie about teen sexting."
10:11 PM May 23rd
via Twitter for Android
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- Name Craig S.
- Location Norwich, CT
- Web http://pinktowels...
- Bio McGriddle Enthusiast,Once Was Forced To Sit Through 'CATS' With Poopy Underwear. RESPECT THIS PINK TOWEL!*BEEP BOOP*
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