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XIANITY

  1. TOURISM: Church of the Holy Sepulcher moves to Tel Aviv to accommodate growing number of visitors.
  2. BREAKING NEWS: JI Packer endorses book!
  3. COMMUNITY: Unable to maintain charade, ACTS29 church-planter tearfully confesses to not liking beer. #a29
  4. BOOKS: Harper Publishing reluctantly accepts a $100,000 Genius Grant for satire awarded to their “NRSV Green Bible”.
  5. MEDIA: Abraham Piper admits Mormon outreach blog '22 Wives' a miserable failure. @abrahampiper
  6. CULTURE: Feminist Pastor misses point entirely by naming her church ‘Venus Hill’
  7. THEOLOGY: Tired of trying to get Rob Bell to define the Gospel, critics settle for him simply spelling it correctly.
  8. GOVERNMENT: As creator of the universe, God fully covered under Obama's proposed Universal Health Care Plan.
  9. MEDIA: Justin Taylor admits blog title Between Two Worlds actually refers to the on going conflict between Romulus & Vulcan @between2worlds
  10. BREAKING NEWS: John Piper, Al Mohler, and C.J. Mahaney to speak at same reformed conference!
  11. ROME: Catholic Church sues Comic Book over feline superhero “Magnificat” moniker.
  12. DEFENSE: Full Armor of God manufacturing contract goes to lowest bidder.
  13. TRAVEL: When passing Haiti, Christian Caribbean Cruise observes moment of silence at all-you-can-eat buffet.
  14. HEALTH: At his current rate of weight loss, Ed Stetzer will vanish completely at 11:32am on April 17, 2016 @edstetzer
  15. CULTURE: North Point Church changes name after realizing it’s not polite to point.
  16. MISSIONS: With a Bible in their own language, Klingons no longer considered an unreached people group.
  17. HISTORY: Vatican researcher discovers Shroud of Turin also functions as cloak of invisibility and flying carpet.
  18. ESCHATOLOGY/DINING: Hungry and irritated, John Hagee eats Jack Van Impe during end-times debate.
  19. HEALTH: Pastor Melissa Scott hospitalized with dry-erase marker poisoning.
  20. THEOLOGY: Openness Theologians right all along; God spotted on bus wearing a "What Will People Do?" bracelet.