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Widgett

@neilhimself: The concepts of "jalapeno" and "condom" should never be used like that. Not together. Not ever. about 9 hours ago via TweetDeck in reply to neilhimself
I'm flattered. Honestly. horseracingnation.com/horse/Be_Widge… about 9 hours ago via TweetDeck
Just typed a comment into Facebook about jetpacks and my recommended pages on the side turned into "Shooting" and "Beer." #Alarmed about 15 hours ago via TweetDeck
@paulandstorm: I also bring random "deducta-words" printed out on transparencies & hold them up in front of my face as I describe things. about 15 hours ago via TweetDeck in reply to paulandstorm
@scottums: You now have competition, it seems. youtu.be/2Fu8h9wDoMQ (via @Rob_Levy) about 15 hours ago via TweetDeck
That's why I wear contact lenses. I don't have eyedrums. I have those terribly cheap eyebongos. about 15 hours ago via TweetDeck
Jesus, what are eyedrums? Whatever they are I WANT THEM NOW. about 15 hours ago via TweetDeck
At my old job it was Employee Grows a Beard, It Goes Grey RT @mashable: Tell-Tale Signs Your Employee is Overworked on.mash.to/JGhJ62 about 18 hours ago via TweetDeck
I have a dream of shrubbery sculpted to perfection. You might think my dream utopiarian. But I don't give a damn. about 19 hours ago via TweetDeck
I just reached level 5 of the "Carnivores" badge on 4SQ. I've checked in at 20 different watering holes, lain in wait & killed a wildebeest! about 23 hours ago via TweetDeck
@neilhimself: Is there someone on the lookout for any uncertain-flavored doom? about 23 hours ago via TweetDeck in reply to neilhimself
Fact: Joaquin Phoenix, previously called Leaf, changed his name after learning an entire type of ant wanted to cut him. about 24 hours ago via TweetDeck
Misty_Lee At the office. Best office ever. twitter.com/Misty_Lee/stat… 11:45 PM May 26th via Twitter for iPhone Retweeted by Widgett and 2 others
@c12old: I wish I was a marketing machine as well. 10:31 PM May 26th via TweetDeck in reply to c12old
@c12old: On Kindle, yes. And Season 2 the month after. Catching up on lost time. 10:22 PM May 26th via TweetDeck in reply to c12old
@scottums: We have many, many podcasts that prove this. @JJHawkins 7:42 PM May 26th via TweetDeck in reply to scottums
Dear Pearl Jam - you are indirectly responsible for me singing in a band for two-plus years, now I am drinking your ale. Weird world, yes? 7:20 PM May 26th via TweetDeck
@RealCliveBarker: Always thought the Rolling Stones had been dead for years, revived by a houngan thereafter. ("Voodoo Lounge?" - obvious) 7:19 PM May 26th via TweetDeck in reply to RealCliveBarker
@RealCliveBarker: Overall effect beyond makeup: the furrow she left in the grass from dragging herself along -- a whole story in that. 7:08 PM May 26th via TweetDeck in reply to RealCliveBarker
@RealCliveBarker: Off the top of my head: Bike Girl from Walking Dead. bit.ly/vjmW9a - Reason: Scary, repulsive & sad all at once. 7:07 PM May 26th via TweetDeck in reply to RealCliveBarker

Name Widgett Walls
Location Coast City, IA
Web http://www.needco...
Bio Widgett Walls is the chief cook and bottle washer of http://needcoffee.com; he's also author of one novel and multiple short stories: http://amzn.to/JfZtTK