WhyINeedBail
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A red clown hair in my food. I had come from the gun range. That McDonald's was asking for it.
10:44 AM Dec 2nd
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Look the Space Needle shouldn't be called that if they don't want you showing up in alienwear.
10:01 AM Nov 24th
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No more Oprah?! A MOTHER'S TEARS DROWN US ALL.
11:20 AM Nov 23rd
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It's not rape if it's opposite day! No means yes.
11:37 PM Nov 22nd
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It's only a hit & run if you run. I was in my car.
6:00 PM Nov 20th
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You only win the dance-a-thon if you're the last once dancing, OK!? Who knew a glowstick could be a murder weapon?
5:59 PM Nov 19th
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You're welcome, Internet.
10:24 AM Nov 19th
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Thought I could take a roundhouse kick from Walker, Texas Ranger... @ I thought wrong.
2:36 PM Nov 18th
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Every time a bell rings, an angel gets its wings; or, you realize you left the security device on as you leave the TJ Maxx.
2:35 PM Nov 18th
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Apparently demonstrating proper urinal usage to children isn't "helpful," so much as "a violation of federal penal codes."
2:17 PM Nov 18th
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I'm a simple man with simple needs for simpletons.
2:09 PM Nov 18th
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Mowed all the lawns at the Wexley School for Girls.
2:06 PM Nov 18th
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Fought the law...
2:03 PM Nov 18th
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Whoever said big girls don't cry, let me tell you, they do. Especially when you're struggling to put them in your van.
11:39 AM Nov 17th
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Now I know how much cocaine can fit in my ass.
8:31 PM Nov 16th
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2 roads diverged in a wood and I, I took the one less traveled by. And that has made no difference. They still found the body.
4:53 PM Nov 15th
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"I was a kid in a candy store" means something very different when you're 41 and watching Little League.
8:57 PM Nov 14th
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Getting struck by lightning is nature's wake-up call. Do not play God. Do not throw lamps in the neighbor's bathtub.
11:46 AM Nov 13th
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Sometimes pinatas aren't filled with candy. Sometimes they are called "mascots" and there is no candy.
6:11 PM Nov 12th
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An infant is not an acceptable replacement for a drinking buddy.
4:39 PM Nov 11th
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- Name Why I Need Bail
- Location The Big House
- Web http://www.youtub...
- Bio Oh man, I really f@*ked up. HELP! (woes brought to you by Big Game Hunters Sketch Comedy)
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