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WarrenHolstein

  1. THE TABLES HAVE TURNED!!! But it doesn't really matter since they're square. Sorry for yelling.
  2. Does the Hulk shave his chest?
  3. Think I'm gonna pass on the Octomom's Porn. Her poon's gotta look like a deflated hot air balloon.
  4. Suffer the adults (with the children).
  5. I refuse to follow suit and change my penis's name to Elizabeth Tower.
  6. "Next thing you know, Aquaman will be getting serviced by a blowfish and married to a giant seahorse!" Right-Winger Conservonerd
  7. Oprah's Book Club Is back. Eating disorder, domestic abuse and molestation survivors, rejoice!
  8. Dear America, "All-You-Can-Eat" doesn't mean each other. Sincerely, Citizens Against Being Masticated Alive
  9. Screw the Queen! I'm having a cherries jubilee. USA! USA! USA!
  10. A king size package of Rolos? YOLO! (If you've got diabetes, you might want to reconsider.)
  11. All John Travolta's Green Lantern comic books will have happy endings.
  12. Bath Salts shouldn't be confused with Epsom Salts. Those will just make you eat another person's feet off.
  13. Men's porn use has been linked to unhappy relationships. Not with our prostates.
  14. A judge has ordered 6-year-old Adolf Hitler to be kept in child custody. Rumor has it, he loves to fingerpaint... uh-oh!
  15. Ironically, the new Green Lantern would love to bang Ryan Reynolds (and probably could).
  16. "Metrosensuals" are people who enjoy slowly rubbing themselves against subway poles.
  17. When exactly did Justin Bieber start morphing into Corey Haim?
  18. #FF RT @joshcomers: Hope I don't wind up on any #FF lists today with people I don't follow. #awkward
  19. "I'm dead, dammit!"-Gumby