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WarrenHolstein

  1. THE TABLES HAVE TURNED!!! But it doesn't really matter since they're square. Sorry for yelling. about 5 hours ago via TweetCaster for Android
  2. Does the Hulk shave his chest? about 8 hours ago via TweetCaster for Android
  3. Think I'm gonna pass on the Octomom's Porn. Her poon's gotta look like a deflated hot air balloon. about 9 hours ago via TweetCaster for Android
  4. Suffer the adults (with the children). about 9 hours ago via TweetCaster for Android
  5. I refuse to follow suit and change my penis's name to Elizabeth Tower. about 10 hours ago via TweetCaster for Android
  6. "Next thing you know, Aquaman will be getting serviced by a blowfish and married to a giant seahorse!" Right-Winger Conservonerd about 11 hours ago via TweetCaster for Android
  7. Oprah's Book Club Is back. Eating disorder, domestic abuse and molestation survivors, rejoice! about 11 hours ago via web
  8. Dear America, "All-You-Can-Eat" doesn't mean each other. Sincerely, Citizens Against Being Masticated Alive about 12 hours ago via web
  9. Screw the Queen! I'm having a cherries jubilee. USA! USA! USA! about 12 hours ago via web
  10. A king size package of Rolos? YOLO! (If you've got diabetes, you might want to reconsider.) 8:53 PM Jun 1st via TweetCaster for Android
  11. All John Travolta's Green Lantern comic books will have happy endings. 1:47 PM Jun 1st via TweetCaster for Android
  12. Bath Salts shouldn't be confused with Epsom Salts. Those will just make you eat another person's feet off. 12:49 PM Jun 1st via TweetCaster for Android
  13. Men's porn use has been linked to unhappy relationships. Not with our prostates. 12:22 PM Jun 1st via TweetCaster for Android
  14. A judge has ordered 6-year-old Adolf Hitler to be kept in child custody. Rumor has it, he loves to fingerpaint... uh-oh! 11:53 AM Jun 1st via TweetCaster for Android
  15. Ironically, the new Green Lantern would love to bang Ryan Reynolds (and probably could). 11:20 AM Jun 1st via TweetCaster for Android
  16. "Metrosensuals" are people who enjoy slowly rubbing themselves against subway poles. 10:58 AM Jun 1st via TweetCaster for Android
  17. When exactly did Justin Bieber start morphing into Corey Haim? 10:32 AM Jun 1st via TweetCaster for Android
  18. #FF RT @joshcomers: Hope I don't wind up on any #FF lists today with people I don't follow. #awkward 10:29 AM Jun 1st via TweetCaster for Android
  19. "I'm dead, dammit!"-Gumby 10:06 AM Jun 1st via TweetCaster for Android
  • Name Warren Holstein
  • Location NYC
  • Web http://www.witstr...
  • Bio Stand-Up Comedian and Breathing Enthusiast. Will write for $$$. Follow my news blog: http://newsscrooge.tumblr.com/
511 Following 1,823 Followers 125 Listed