Vulvatron
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Mashed potatoes and taking a nap with a baby were the best parts of my day.
12:13 AM Nov 27th
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the turkey neck really, really looks like a deformed penis. gross.
6:18 PM Nov 26th
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I was going to buy a gravy boat for Thanksgiving but I got self conscious about being the chubby kid in the checkout line with a gravy boat
12:16 AM Nov 25th
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I think my humming with the NSYNC Christmas tunes at the grocery store gave away the fact that I'm a complete and utter loser sometimes
3:36 PM Nov 23rd
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I've been telling myself since 11:30pm Thursday evening that I can wait a week to see New Moon, it should be easy. I WANT TO SEE IT NOW
4:05 PM Nov 21st
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@ that is a personal modification I can get behind.
9:50 AM Nov 19th
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in reply to Yidago
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Dear coworker who just had a BM: the overuse of the citrus bathroom spray is not masking the fact that you took a BM. Please use sparingly.
9:48 AM Nov 19th
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I got fresh with some peanut butter filled pretzels earlier today.
11:25 PM Nov 17th
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That reflection I caught of myself while entering Safeway was truly unfortunate
1:29 PM Nov 17th
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Surprisingly, this screaming, whiney child is making me want children less and less. Who woulda thunk?
9:49 PM Nov 16th
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I thought eating prunes like an old lady last night was awesome. This morning, in a vinyl seated chair, I am regretting my decision.
8:22 AM Nov 16th
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My accidental setting of my alarm clock to PM instead of AM two weeks in a row is a sign I need to take a sabbatical, or to drink more.
8:19 AM Nov 16th
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Note to self: You can thin too much with thinning shears, especially when you're hacking away at your own hair.
3:07 PM Nov 15th
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I shaved my dog's butt and now he keeps rubbing it on everything.
10:16 AM Nov 13th
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My Thursday so far: didn't wake up to alarm, got to work 2 hours later, headache, no lunch and grump level off the charts. JEALOUS?
12:30 PM Nov 12th
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About to eat high fiber soup before going into a 2-hour evening meeting. Best. decision. ever.
5:07 PM Nov 9th
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How does one go about getting a do-over Monday?
4:17 PM Nov 9th
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Help me Rhonda. Someone shoot me now.
11:49 AM Nov 9th
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I get fashion tips from the lady shoppers at Walmart. Sexy.
9:40 PM Nov 8th
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Trying to decide what to wear tonight. Who am I kidding? We're going to Video Games Live.
5:24 PM Nov 7th
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- Name Vulvatron
- Location Vancouver, WA
- Bio Running with scissors
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