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VisceralMel

AristotlesNZ They look scary but they can be just as scared of you as you are of them. Stay calm. They sense fear.. -Me to people first meeting my kids about 2 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone Retweeted by VisceralMel and 14 others
Miss_Cook Racing my dog to the cookie I dropped on the floor is my cardio. about 3 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone Retweeted by VisceralMel and 3 others
Area51eh Me: Pack your bags.I won the lottery! G/F: Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff? Me: Doesn't matter, just get out. 9:48 PM May 18th via web Retweeted by VisceralMel and 27 others
ilovepie84 I knew she slept with the Pilsbury Doughboy because she had a yeast infection and someone kept calling and saying "WOOHOO!" Then hang up about 3 hours ago via Favstar.FM Retweeted by VisceralMel and 10 others
disastrous007 The best bra in the world is a man's hands. 4:29 PM Feb 2nd, 2011 via Twitter for iPhone Retweeted by VisceralMel and 81 others
beeschexy I'm singing an R. Kelly song. This is my suicide note. "I'm a, I'm a, I'm a flirt." Please kill me. about 3 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone Retweeted by VisceralMel and 1 other
thebenbrooks Let's see who's still thinks my parkour lessons were a waste after the zombie apocalypse starts. about 3 hours ago via web Retweeted by VisceralMel
PanettaSexyTime So you're saying makeup sex doesn't involve me putting lipstick all over my penis? Can you say embarrassing? 12:00 AM May 5th via Echofon Retweeted by VisceralMel and 33 others
nerdgirlcomedy Justin Bieber is swearing & punching people & folks are shocked. He's 17 and the world treats him like a god. WHAT DID YOU EXPECT WORLD? about 2 hours ago via web Retweeted by VisceralMel and 2 others
deadndreaming Everytime I say meh I wanna kick myself in the balls but I'm not that limber. Meh. about 2 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone Retweeted by VisceralMel and 2 others
meat_tornado_ how do i cut a bitch over the internet? about 2 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone Retweeted by VisceralMel and 11 others
the_moonface I think it's more surprising that of all the superheroes in tights, only Green Lantern has come out of the closet. about 2 hours ago via twicca Retweeted by VisceralMel and 3 others
Fuck you too phone. about 2 hours ago via UberSocial for Android
Ended up tail-gating this idiot who kept stepping on the breaks and driving like a grampa. THEN my sister tells me it's my uncle, pft about 3 hours ago via web
This smoothie would taste much better if there weren't so many people around me making me fantasize a massacre. about 4 hours ago via UberSocial for Android
At least have some respect for me and look me in the eye if you're gonna lie. about 9 hours ago via UberSocial for Android
You keep telling me there's no time for anything but you tell others differently even when it was your idea in the first place. about 9 hours ago via UberSocial for Android
FaisalAdam_ Some days, friends do or say things that gets you down and those usually sting the most. But pick yourself up and keep moving. Then you win. about 12 hours ago via web Retweeted by VisceralMel and 5 others
The neighbor's cat just tried to make me his bitch by spraying me with his butthole. Fucking asshole. 11:54 AM May 31st via UberSocial for Android
ilovepie84 Ok Jimmy the Goldfish show us on this doll where Aquaman touched you 4:03 AM May 31st via Favstar.FM Retweeted by VisceralMel and 14 others