Unept
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Pomegranates need instructions printed on them. Stupid healthy things.
about 17 hours ago
from Birdhouse
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Of all the parasites I could get, heartworm seems the most caring, like a Care Bear.
6:27 PM Dec 14th
from Birdhouse
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Toon Town's restroom has 4 adult urinals & 1 KID'S URINAL! It doesn't take a Disney Imagineer to know why it's so messy.
8:07 PM Dec 11th
from Birdhouse
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Yes, but r u aware of the thousands of peeps that are slaughtered every day just to produce one bag of cotton candy?
5:27 PM Dec 11th
from Birdhouse
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Dear hotel management: I understand the need to stand out from other hotels, & shampoo w/fragrance of cat urine sure did it.
2:46 PM Dec 11th
from Birdhouse
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Hey lady, that tattoo on your lower back just isn't doing it for me, not sure why. Maybe it's your back hair.
2:10 PM Dec 11th
from Birdhouse
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Just bought a churro for $3.50 at the happiest/profitablest place on earth.
11:16 AM Dec 10th
from Birdhouse
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Try the danishes. That cream cheese comes straight from the magical udder of Clarabelle Cow.
3:49 PM Dec 9th
from Birdhouse
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When will Disneyland's technology come to regular theaters? I would SO watch Soarin' Over Capitalism: A Love Story.
2:42 PM Dec 9th
from Birdhouse
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8-yr old's observation: "That salt is really, really salty."
11:17 AM Dec 9th
from Birdhouse
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All I want for Christmas is peace on earth... through the use of our nuclear arsenals on all rogue nations.
10:03 AM Dec 5th
from Birdhouse
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Possibly the greatest single picture of all time...
11:51 AM Dec 3rd
from Brizzly
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Ever since last night she seems distant, uninterested. She's not the perky, funloving--Oh I see. I just need to blow her back up.
2:48 PM Dec 1st
from Brizzly
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The Thanksgiving Day Parade is to Thanksgiving Day what your creepy uncle is to Thanksgiving Dinner.
3:58 PM Nov 26th
from Birdhouse
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When a man finally learns to decipher what his wife means vs. what she says, he'll be the happiest man in the retirement home.
8:24 AM Nov 24th
from Birdhouse
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Imagine *GOTTA FART* if Twitter posted *BACON* every thought that *BOOBS* you had.
3:40 PM Nov 23rd
from Brizzly
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Msg from wife: "I'm just taking out the garbage & thinking of you."
3:07 PM Nov 23rd
from Brizzly
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Tweeting 2 years, 6 months, 2 weeks, 6 days, 22 hours, 45 minutes, 25 seconds (May 4, 2007). How about you?
2:55 PM Nov 23rd
from Brizzly
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Nothing says "Aw, I spilled Coors on my Tube Top" like a Pontiac Grand Am.
5:28 PM Nov 21st
from Birdhouse
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Playing hide-n-seek in park w kids. Their moms seem nervous, probably because they don't know who I am, and I'm naked.
5:11 PM Nov 21st
from Birdhouse
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- Name Adam C.
- Location A secure, padded room in Utah
- Web http://favstar.fm...
- Bio This tortured genius enjoys the spankings.
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