UncleDynamite
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I see your Dirty Sanchez, and raise you one Fu Man Pu.
about 14 hours ago
from Power Twitter
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A judge dismissed the cases from a school's "Kick a Ginger Day," ruling that redheads don't legally become human until they grow breasts.
about 16 hours ago
from Power Twitter
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I told my nephew we won't be able to stuff the turkey with frozen waffles this year. "Then the fucking Indians won" he said, stifling a sob.
about 16 hours ago
from Power Twitter
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Can you call it a lynching when you hang yourself? Why not call that a different name, like hutchencing, or carradining?
about 16 hours ago
from Power Twitter
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I'll bow my head before the cornucopia & say a silent prayer for the pilgrims in Hell & hope they're choking on something really dry, too.
about 16 hours ago
from Power Twitter
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A lost boy lived in the NYC subways for 11 days, subsisting on the evil, desperation, ruined dreams, B.O. and delicious rats found there.
about 17 hours ago
from Power Twitter
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Supposedly Chinese authorities became aware of their supply of "tainted" milk when a visiting American told them it tasted like ass.
about 17 hours ago
from Power Twitter
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I'll be celebrating "Black Friday" by inventing a new man-diaper which wicks urine away from the skin and doubles as a methane-fueled bong.
about 17 hours ago
from Power Twitter
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Adam Lambert, bachelor extraordinaire, Mr-In-Your-Face-America, you want to earn my respect? Kiss Barney Frank on the mouth. Then we'll talk
about 17 hours ago
from Power Twitter
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A Rhode Island bishop revised the reason for denying Rep. Patrick Kennedy eucharist on Sunday: "He told me Jesus was shot in Dallas."
about 17 hours ago
from Power Twitter
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The name of the guy who put me on the "won't-follow-back" list became a hissing and a by-word, so he took me off. Score: Me 1 Terrorists 0
about 17 hours ago
from Power Twitter
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To-Do List dilemma: view pix of Kendra Wilkenson's dogs dressed for Xmas, or stick shotgun up my ass & pull the trigger with my toe?
2:53 PM Nov 23rd
from Power Twitter
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That is the last time I get talked into ordering Strange-Flavoured Chicken. I can't even legally complain or send it back.
1:39 PM Nov 23rd
from Power Twitter
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Watching Alicia Keys last night I kept thinking that, for a big-leg woman, she's got a remarkable amount of soul. Suck *that* Robert Plant.
1:29 PM Nov 23rd
from Power Twitter
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When asked what's THE ONE THING that proves that the world's irretrievably broken, I invariably point to Jermaine Jackson's son, Jermajesty.
1:18 PM Nov 23rd
from Power Twitter
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People only pay attention to Fergie to see if she spits out her post-meth teeth during her whoah-ooh-whoahing.
1:10 PM Nov 23rd
from Power Twitter
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Sarah Jessica Parker needs far more realistic roles, like "3rd Yenta at Bris", or "Mike Myers Mother-in-Law." Signed, Every Working Penis
12:56 PM Nov 23rd
from Power Twitter
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Actually, Peter Gabriel was very much monitored from the past by the Mayans, it turns out. But they freely admit that Menudo was a shock.
12:51 PM Nov 23rd
from Power Twitter
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When asked about Adam Lambert's man-kiss at last night's AMA's, Madonna smeared nutella on her nipples and bayed from inside her kennel.
12:49 PM Nov 23rd
from Power Twitter
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Paula Deen, tossing food to the poor, was hit in the face with a ham. Incapacitated, she was unable to utter "y'all" for nearly 45 minutes.
12:42 PM Nov 23rd
from Power Twitter
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