Get short, timely messages from Problem-child.

Twitter is a rich source of instantly updated information. It's easy to stay updated on an incredibly wide variety of topics. Join today and follow @UncleD5000.

Get updates via SMS by texting follow UncleD5000 to 40404 in the United States
Codes for other countries

Country	Code	For customers of
Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:
Australia	0198089488 Telstra
Canada	21212 (any)
United Kingdom	86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
Indonesia	89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel
Ireland	51210 O2
India	53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon
Jordan	90903 Zain
New Zealand	8987 Vodafone, Telecom NZ
United States	40404 (any)

UncleD5000

ImTracyMorgan I always stop the microwave at 0:01 because I hate the fucking beeping noise. 7:46 PM May 31st via Twuffer Retweeted by UncleD5000 and 456 others
@joerogan this is the guy who's face was eaten by drug crazed lunatic in miami a few days ago, your welcome. twitter.com/UncleD5000/sta… 5:22 PM May 30th via Twitter for BlackBerry®
Time4Depression It will not get better. Ever. 12:32 AM May 13th via Favstar.FM Retweeted by UncleD5000 and 141 others
Time4Depression Your mother regrets having you. 10:09 AM May 13th via Favstar.FM Retweeted by UncleD5000 and 149 others
Time4Depression If you were to die in a car crash the main goal would be to clean up the mess so traffic could keep moving. 9:26 AM May 15th via Twitter for iPhone Retweeted by UncleD5000 and 199 others
Time4Depression 100 billion people have lived on the Earth. They all died. 11:42 AM May 16th via Favstar.FM Retweeted by UncleD5000 and 166 others
Time4Depression Your friends would have invited you to their BBQs, but you don't have any. 9:55 AM May 28th via Favstar.FM Retweeted by UncleD5000 and 96 others
peteec I keep telling this girl rape jokes even though she says she doesn't want to hear them; she says no but I know she really means yes. 11:35 PM May 29th via Twitter for iPhone Retweeted by UncleD5000 and 10 others
OneFunnyBastard My wife said she wanted to get rid of her love handles. Personally, I think she would look stupid without ears. 12:02 AM May 30th via Favstar.FM Retweeted by UncleD5000 and 24 others
therealstylesp Dick ryders and ball buffers need some sorta curfew! They just pop up at all sorta weird times ryding n buffing for no reason. 10:31 PM May 29th via Twitter for Android Retweeted by UncleD5000 and 292 others
Poor Rams didn't have a chance #itjustgotreal twitter.com/UncleD5000/sta… 10:47 PM May 29th via Twitter for BlackBerry®
Drake Baaaaaare Tumblr Tings doggy. 9:03 PM May 5th via Twitter for BlackBerry® Retweeted by UncleD5000 and 2438 others
Drake Oh that's your ho? That's our ho too. Lol 11:15 PM May 28th via Twitter for BlackBerry® Retweeted by UncleD5000 and 20586 others
Drake We get gyal eeeeaasy. 11:23 PM May 28th via Twitter for BlackBerry® Retweeted by UncleD5000 and 5784 others
@CashaCakes I won't be able to stalk you as much if I give up my location bud. 7:17 PM May 28th via Twitter for BlackBerry® in reply to CashaCakes
@cashacakes #MentionYourCutestFollower 4:52 PM May 28th via Twitter for BlackBerry®
Time4Depression You will shit your pants someday. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But it will happen. 11:12 PM May 22nd via Favstar.FM Retweeted by UncleD5000 and 131 others
Time4Depression Your friends are out having fun tonight, but you decided to stay home. They were grateful. 9:48 PM May 25th via Favstar.FM Retweeted by UncleD5000 and 82 others
ImTracyMorgan Why is "All Together" written separately, but "Separately" is written all together? 4:16 AM May 28th via Twuffer Retweeted by UncleD5000 and 193 others
ImTracyMorgan Ever notice how men insult each other and don't really mean it and women compliment each other and don't really mean it?? 4:31 AM May 28th via Twuffer Retweeted by UncleD5000 and 171 others

Name Problem-child
Location Montreal, Quebec
Bio Can't wait for the Mad Max days to come so I can blast people with a sawed off shotgun for a can of beans and fuel.