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TwitterLit

  1. "Well, I just hate Christmas, and nearly always did, ever since the faith was broken." http://is.gd/5dcZ9
  2. "I was so disappointed to hear that the smoking pipe I sent you arrived broken." http://is.gd/5btk3
  3. "The importance of a shared sense of humor is made obvious by its absence." http://is.gd/5z7TL
  4. "To me, bad taste is what entertainment is all about." http://is.gd/5z7Mx
  5. "I came upon my son's body by the river." http://is.gd/5xuLx
  6. "Mundane families are all alike; every unusual family is unusual in its own way." http://is.gd/5wpSa
  7. "The Deliverator belongs to an elite order, a hallowed subcategory." http://is.gd/5wpAc
  8. "Homer Simpson does not fare well when evaluated morally." http://is.gd/5wpIw
  9. "Garp's mother, Jenny Fields, was arrested in Boston in 1942 for wounding a man in a movie theater." http://is.gd/5wpth
  10. "My first date in nineteen years was nearly an hour late." http://is.gd/5vfgB
  11. "We are going to die, and that makes us the lucky ones." http://is.gd/5vf86
  12. "I'd been trying to get rid of the big oaf for seventeen weeks but he just kept coming around." http://is.gd/5dcuP
  13. "He remembered to wear black." http://is.gd/5sNdp
  14. "The Old Ones were, the Old Ones are, and the Old Ones shall be." http://is.gd/5sMWy
  15. "The mind has been trying to understand itself for centuries." http://is.gd/5sMIv
  16. "Everyone thinks it was because of the snow." http://is.gd/5rlkt
  17. "Melvin worked as a middle manager at IBM, and a miserable middle manager Melvin made." http://is.gd/5rlci
  18. "Go look at a dog." http://is.gd/5qB8R
  19. "Walt Disney didn't say anything." http://is.gd/5qAXu
  20. "It's a tough job being somebody's personal assistant." http://is.gd/5oQia