Get short, timely messages from Twips2.

Twitter is a rich source of instantly updated information. It's easy to stay updated on an incredibly wide variety of topics. Join today and follow @Twips2.

Get updates via SMS by texting follow Twips2 to 40404 in the United States
Codes for other countries

Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:
Country Code For customers of
Australia
  • 0198089488 Telstra
Canada
  • 21212 (any)
United Kingdom
  • 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
Indonesia
  • 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel
Ireland
  • 51210 O2
India
  • 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon
Jordan
  • 90903 Zain
New Zealand
  • 8987 Vodafone, Telecom NZ
United States
  • 40404 (any)

Twips2

  1. BRING a Eurovision feel to your parties by getting Grandad to play Sing Star. Then tell him he's shit. (via @Crashedfiesta)
  2. TOURISTS. RNLI lifeboat slipways are ideal spots for sunbathing & a good opportunity to see the action. twitter.com/Darth__Taylor/… @Darth__Taylor
  3. 3 MOBILE users. Ensure your text messages reach their destination by glueing your phone to a carrier pigeon. (via @laserblue)
  4. SAVE a fortune on expensive condoms by simply vulcanising your penis. (via @miguelmerry)
  5. JOHN SIMPSON. Plug your ears 43secs before each hour so you don't shit your pants every time that bomb explodes. #BBC24 (via @oilatron)
  6. CHRIS MARTIN. It's not tinnitus, that's your music. (via @sixft2blue)
  7. STALKERS. Use google street-view to loiter outside your prey's house from the comfort of your living room. (via @Pundamentalism)
  8. G I V E t w e e t s a n O r i e n t a l t w i s t b y p r e s s i n g r e t u r n a f t e r e v e r y l e t t e r @MrRousham
  9. SAVE money on gifts for the wife. Collect half a dozen urinal cakes in a bag and pretend you've been to Lush. (via @neilcole)
  10. SELF-HARMERS save time and effort in your busy day by simply stroking a cat the wrong way. (via @tokyo_sexwhale)
  11. ENSURE a short eulogy at your funeral by always suffering fools gladly. (via @eddieunwin)
  12. A JOKE plastic turd covered in marmalade and hung from the ceiling makes a fun alternative to boring old flypaper. (via @JCautomatic)
  13. PSYCHIATRISTS. Make Rorschach patterns easier to read by using a different colour for the evil moth impaled on a dagger. @paraicodonnell
  14. MAKE washing up infinitely more exciting by imagining you've been unable to pay your restaurant bill. (via @katenaomiwill)
  15. DOORS make handy 'catflaps' for humans. (via @Castmana1)
  16. HAYFEVER sufferers. Get your own back this summer by masturbating over a flowerbed. (via @garwboy)
  17. @redfoxcountry I think that was kind of the point.
  18. REMEMBER your PIN by always spending the corresponding four digit amount every time you use your card. (via @rob_fitzpatrick)
  19. PARENTS. Get home quicker after taking your kids to school by simply riding their scooter back instead of carrying it. (via @JCautomatic)
  20. LADIES. Save time asking a man "What are you thinking?" and assume it's a lingerie wearing nurse with an Uzi serving chips & beer. @jojubs