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Tweet_douche

  1. X-mas has a holiday season, like foreplay. Thanksgiving just happens. Thanksgiving is like masturbation. Christmas is like sex.
  2. Poor Charlie Brown RT @ctayah http://twitpic.com/qr6y1
  3. @Kellynnheller my kind of dude
  4. @trebizord bummmmmmer
  5. if i were a super hero and rode around on a big cat, it would probably be called Radi-cat. You know, like radical but in feline form
  6. my hero? RT:@ivanfiallos Took out the jetta for a spin, waxed it, and now recording FNY vocals...oh and addicted to the new taking back ♥
  7. bengals are you srsly?
  8. i don't think i know any women who eat meat
  9. @dance_mf since i started wearing sweatbands i've needed to use $75 more TAG body spray/month because washing a sweatband is for posers.
  10. @jimgaffigan Diamond David Lee Roth doesn't even need pants to ride a train. But he does need that side pocket for the flask of Old Crow.
  11. @DonkeyTs 2. L.L. Bean? More like L.L. Tween. HIYOOOOO
  12. @donkeyts to save space on twitter, i like to contract "boat owners" to simply "b'owners."
  13. @DonkeyTs The Seaward
  14. my buddy says we should be happy on slow news days & not get mad when news reports on boring stuff. my buddy is a pussy.
  15. Thinking about getting my ears gauged out big enough to hold my entire bluetooth earpiece.
  16. @allemalice i didn't know tables got hungry, let alone that they dined.
  17. RT @danielepfarr: i'm part of the RT experiment now. i don't like it.
  18. RT @backoftheclass: We have a new sketch. Its about ponies!! http://www.youtube.com/watc...
  19. If my airbag deployed right now i'd hit myself in the face with my phone. Hard.
  20. Walking in the suburbs = you're a scrub. Walking in the city = you're hip. I agree with this conclusion.