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Tw1sty

  1. @TheMonkeyBoy your call is important to us... Wait, no it's not... Fuck off.
  2. @TheMonkeyBoy thankyou for calling The Age, please hold...
  3. @TheMonkeyBoy I didn't write the joke, I tweeted it. Take it up with the author. Hahaha.
  4. What do Tiger Woods and baby seals have in common?? They're both clubbed by Norwegians!
  5. Breaking news: Ping just offered Elin Woods a contract pushing her own set of drivers, named Elin Woods..."clubs you can beat Tiger with."
  6. @junetwentytwo oh hi... Nothin to see here. *scuffs feet*
  7. RT @balkandishlex: i could have had a better notification than "prostate cancer is now following you on twitter"
  8. @alexmwalker how the hell did they manage that?
  9. @Maggrig anytime mate!
  10. @coliwilso mmmm twins
  11. Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one.
  12. What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.
  13. RT @Wil_Anderson: New woman claims affair with Tiger Woods and says she can identify his genitals. Apparently his balls have the Nike sw ...
  14. @IvanVanderbyl that's a shame. #guessnoteveryonewantstobeacoolkid #hashtagrebelalliance #fratpack
  15. #entireSentenceHashTagsAreReallyStartingToAnnoyMe (via @twe4ked) /via @IvanVanderbyl So, guessing you're not fans of #hashtagrebelalliance?
  16. @MikeFoden are you gonna roll those two out every Wednesday? Lol.
  17. @superhotmel and then when the kid gets no where, the parents turn around and blame our Australian system? #fuckthatforajoke
  18. @Lilylauren I guess, but still.
  19. @superhotmel refusing to keep him, despite him not being at a suitable level for highschool.
  20. Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing... That's it... I'm throwing my Gillete away!