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Trick_or_tweet

  1. I'm growing my hair through telekinesis. Some argue that it would grow anyway, but they're just part of the conspiracy. 4:53 PM Nov 27th from Tweetie
  2. I'm trying to find a constructive way to tell Granny that KY actually doesn't go into KY Bourbon pecan pie. 9:50 AM Nov 26th from Twittelator
  3. It says to rub oil on the turkey, but I'm thankful for flavored KY to enhance the overall experience. 5:14 AM Nov 26th from Twittelator
  4. I'm brining the turkey in LSD so it jumps up, sings & does the can-can like last year. Tripping turkeys are hilarious. 4:11 PM Nov 25th from Twittelator
  5. Is that a cornucopia in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me? 9:55 AM Nov 25th from Tweetie
  6. "I'll gobble your giblets just as soon as you're done with my stuffing." Thanksgiving with your Mom is awkward. 7:28 AM Nov 25th from Tweetie
  7. In spite of my faults, I have excellent bad judgment. 7:00 PM Nov 24th from Tweetie
  8. I drink vodka, therefore I yam. 4:22 PM Nov 24th from Tweetie
  9. I have such an expansive vocabulary, it's like totally, you know. Whatever. 11:55 AM Nov 24th from Tweetie
  10. "Pipe cleaning the turkey." #ThanksgivingDouchemisms 9:20 AM Nov 24th from Tweetie
  11. I'm planning an old-fashioned Thanksgiving. I'm serving a huge feast & then I'll screw my Native American boyfriend. 7:43 AM Nov 24th from Tweetie
  12. You’ll get better reception with that phone up your ass, given your rectal-cranial inversion, Ms. Palin. 11:33 AM Nov 20th from Tweetie
  13. Oprah is discontinuing her pap smears & Palin's book Nude Poon is out. Got it. No need for news; I've got Twitter. 9:01 AM Nov 20th from Tweetie
  14. @stevewhitaker What's the 140? #RejectedTwitterQuestions 1:32 PM Nov 19th from Tweetie in reply to stevewhitaker
  15. What's happening is that we finally stopped whining re: the new RT, and now we're bitching about your line of questioning. 1:07 PM Nov 19th from Tweetie
  16. @giromide That's 'cuz we blew it up. 11:01 AM Nov 19th from web in reply to giromide
  17. I'm not sure this little old dog-grooming lady should have a license plate that says, 'K9STYL.' 9:55 AM Nov 19th from Tweetie
  18. In today's summit meeting, the US agreed to outsource the manufacturing of Made in America labels to China. 7:04 AM Nov 19th from Tweetie
  19. Psst- Let's pool our followers together & start a religion: The Church of Pantsless-Day Taints. Codpiece be w/you. 5:51 PM Nov 18th from Twittelator
  20. @essdogg @frageelay Carpet Munchies® 12:50 PM Nov 18th from Tweetie in reply to essdogg