TimTheFoolMan
: Some people say "tootles" instead of saying "goodbye." Those same people only make this mistake once when saying goodbye to Fartman.
| : At first, Fartman was offended when he was called "Incompetent." Then, he realized he'd wet himself in battle, and misunderstood the word. |
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| : The Democratic and Republican Conventions represent those rare times when people prove that they can produce more hot air than Fartman. |
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| : Labor Day reminds Fartman of Labor and Delivery. Fartman understands this struggle, and hates those "Braxton-Hicks contractions" too. |
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| : When Elton John wrote the lyric "livin' like lovers, rollin' like thunder, under the covers," it's obvious that he, too, has met Fartman. |
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| : Superheroes that don't respect Fartman have told him to "pick up the slack." Unfortunately, he misheard them say "fill up the slacks." |
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| : Fartman isn't rich, but he appreciates the finer things in life, like a Jacuzzi. However, Fartman's Jacuzzi doesn't require electricity. |
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| : It's not surprising that Fartman prefers the planet Uranus to Jupiter. Jupiter has the big, red spot, but Uranus has 10 times the methane. |
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| After yet another "special security scan," Fartman determines he will never fly commercial again. The sniffers always detect explosive gas. |
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| Flatulence may sound a bit like opulence, but spending time around Fartman reminds you that they are, indeed, very different terms. |
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| @hotdogsladies I get chuckles out of most of your updates, but the Oprah one caused me to spew diet coke... SCORE!!!! |
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| : Tooting your own horn is the wrong way to get recognition at the office. For Fartman, tooting his own horn has different ramifications. |
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| : As Mr. Whipple knows, squeezing the Charmin gives you an indication of its softness. Squeezing The Fartman has a very different effect. |
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| : Air travel with Fartman tests the limits of the airplane's ventilation systems. In a word: inadequate. (posted from flight 1920 to NH) |
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| : Volunteering at the HS concession stand, Fartman was asked to wear gloves. He had help taking them off, but they pulled his finger. Ooops! |
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| : The November Elections will be upon us soon; the winds of change are blowing. Fartman has been blowing winds too, and now needs to change. |
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| : Fartman recently sold his iPod and bought a Zune. His reasons for the change? The Zune is brown, and to share a song, you "squirt." Nice. |
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| : Some smells are better left unsmelled: The milk in a long-expired and now-swollen carton, the dumpster behind the school, and... Fartman. |
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| @dandilion23 @zappos_fly made me do it |
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| : When confronted by hurricane winds, you can either ride it out or get out of town. When confronted by Fartman winds, just get out of town. |
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