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TiffanyJMoore

  1. Starve a fever, feed a cold rum, right? LET ME HAVE THIS YOU GUYS I'M SURROUNDED BY FAMLY MEMBERS ASKING WHY I'M STILL SINGLE. about 1 hour ago from TweetDeck
  2. I just read that doing a Sudoku puzzle burns an amazing 90 calories an hour. GREAT. Another form of exercise I don't enjoy. about 3 hours ago from TweetDeck
  3. In hindsight, when asked what she was most thankful for, Nana probably shouldn't have said, "that my dead husband's insurance was paid up." about 4 hours ago from TweetDeck
  4. In bed hoarding Reese Cups and Cheetos while tripping balls on Robitussin and Sudafed. This is how an A&E reality show starts. about 16 hours ago from TweetDeck
  5. Facebook is pretty much the best video game ever. Even though I'm doing absolutely nothing, I'm still beating all the other players. about 19 hours ago from TweetDeck
  6. Standing in the cold, wet rain in my pajamas while holding a bag of cat food, I realized that whatever "it" was, I was doing it wrong. about 23 hours ago from TweetDeck
  7. @JarrodDMoore Those are the moments for which flasks are made. about 24 hours ago from TweetDeck in reply to JarrodDMoore
  8. Guys, if you remember anything this Thanksgiving, let it be this: don't forget to preheat the oven before trying to stick in the turkey. 11:33 AM Nov 24th from TweetDeck
  9. @danaynay @chokeychicken Is there a "Great Minds Think Alike" contest? OMG WHAT DO I WIN? 9:47 AM Nov 24th from TweetDeck
  10. If a collar pops in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does the douchebag make a sound? 9:24 AM Nov 24th from TweetDeck
  11. Just gave the cats catnip and now they're re-enacting the Battle of Bull Run in my bedroom. If curiosity doesn't kill them, I WILL. 6:03 PM Nov 23rd from TweetDeck
  12. @brianbolter *STAR!* 5:19 PM Nov 23rd from TweetDeck in reply to brianbolter
  13. The one good thing about accumulating so many AOL discs over the years is that I'll never need to buy coasters ever again. 3:35 PM Nov 23rd from TweetDeck
  14. What's Vietnamese for "No, I don't like that color and no, I don't have a boyfriend and I KNOW YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT ME LADY"? 12:57 PM Nov 23rd from TweetDeck
  15. Pro tip: If a friend asks you to help pick out a dress for her third wedding, don't ask her why all the ones she's choosing from are white. 10:12 AM Nov 23rd from TweetDeck
  16. My friend just sent me an audio file that can only be described as heavy metal polka. I don't know whether to bang my head or dance a jig. 8:58 AM Nov 23rd from TweetDeck
  17. Last week, a motorist received Virginia's first $1,000 ticket for an HOV lane violation. Wait. Jay-Z has his own lane on the Interstate? 5:43 PM Nov 22nd from web
  18. If the body of Christ were Cheez-Its and the blood of Christ were sangria, I'll bet Pastor Dan would be turning people away at the door. 2:06 PM Nov 22nd from TweetDeck
  19. I know you're all out of gin, but when I said "call someone who cares" I wasn't actually referring to *me*. See you at Thanksgiving, Nana. 11:09 AM Nov 22nd from web
  20. NyQuil: The nighttime, sniffling, sneezing, how the hell did I end up on the bathroom floor hugging the ficus medicine. 7:56 PM Nov 21st from TweetDeck