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TheZing

  1. @frankwahl You're a sex pervert. American Idol. Boobies. Heroes. #Lost. Think this tweet will do well in Twitter search? Lance Armstrong. 10:37 AM Mar 23rd from twhirl in reply to frankwahl
  2. I don't get why people get so worked up about masturbation. We're all on our lunch breaks -- this is ME time, even if you're around. 9:45 AM Mar 23rd from twhirl
  3. Despite its name, the "pregnant pause" method makes a lousy form of birth control. Trust me. 4:40 AM Mar 21st from Tweetie
  4. @lexfri Wait, so not the brownie you get to enjoy afterward? 10:52 AM Mar 20th from web in reply to lexfri
  5. I think the "TGI" in "TGI Fridays" stands for "Terrorizing Guests' Intestines." Heck of a restaurant, though. 8:37 AM Mar 18th from twhirl
  6. @EveryPromenade Obama change, or beggar change? 6:13 PM Mar 17th from twhirl in reply to EveryPromenade
  7. So, where we drinkin' tonight? Oh yeah, alone in my bedroom. 12:01 PM Mar 17th from twhirl
  8. Today's the day my vomit is slightly greener than usual. 11:30 AM Mar 17th from twhirl
  9. "Kiss Me I'm Irish" tee shirts? Wow what an awesome way to exploit a history of grief and atrocity for some hot action on St. Patty's Day. 11:28 AM Mar 17th from web
  10. Following @EveryPromenade 7:00 AM Mar 17th from twhirl
  11. Girl Scout cookies arrived yesterday. New pants arriving tomorrow. 11:43 AM Mar 12th from twhirl
  12. Hey, politicians, here's an idea: Let's re-brand this thing a FREEcession. Cuz everything's cheap since no one has money. Cool, right? 12:58 PM Mar 11th from twhirl
  13. Since Michael Jackson's doing his farewell concerts in London, will he wear the glove on the other hand? 9:00 AM Mar 10th from HootSuite
  14. Spoiler alert: They aren't giants. They're normal sized people who sing about birdhouses. 8:07 AM Mar 10th from twhirl
  15. Sometimes I think the Dalai should get off his high Llama already. 7:37 AM Mar 10th from twhirl
  16. The cool thing about Heroes is how the show evolves. It went from "humans with superpowers" to "writers who can't maintain quality." 7:29 AM Mar 4th from twhirl
  17. Jimmy Fallon's new show premieres tonight. $10 says Horacio Sanz will be CRACKING UP. 9:58 AM Mar 2nd from twhirl
  18. @trailsdotcom I would add that the nakedness at hot springs is inversely proportional to the attractiveness. 5:34 PM Feb 27th from web in reply to trailsdotcom
  19. Obama says we're going to pull out of Iraq by August 2010. Mr. President, I've got two kids who'll tell you: The pull-out method DON'T WORK. 11:12 AM Feb 27th from twhirl
  20. The guy from Barenaked Ladies busted for drugs is now leaving the band. He's being replaced with Chickety China, the Chinese Chicken. 11:05 AM Feb 27th from twhirl
  • Name The Zing!
  • Web http://lex.lexand...
  • Bio Zing! We used to write funny tweets for @cracked, and then they fired us.
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