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TheWoolie

  1. That Azerbaijani dance troupe is nothing, the village do that every Friday night.
  2. Who the frig is that WAG wannabe dating Declan's nephew? This is Emmerdale, not Hollyoaks!!!
  3. Who else spotted Declan's little bald patch??
  4. Marlon is singing away to ABBA's "dancing queen" while Alicia is slyly recording it on her phone. I'll have a peek of that on YouTube later.
  5. Now they've stopped to have a wee in the bushes. God, you can see the wondering eyes from here! Who do YOU think is the biggest??
  6. Nikhil, David and Declan all on a morning job. You could cut the gay sexual tension with a knife!
  7. Still can't believe how good Rachel looked last night. It's amazing what you find under a chav: Cheryl Cole, Tulisa, now Rachel.
  8. 400 people following little old me? N'aww I love you guys too. Come on, drinks are on me.
  9. Everyone has been so focused on Ashley that they haven't even noticed the Bartons have disappeared for the last few weeks. Bad neighbours.
  10. Sorry for not tweeting in a while, Diane used up the Internet downloading porn. I suppose she's gotta get her kicks somewhere.
  11. Carl King is stalking Katie with his eyes. She's not interested wannabe-Casanova. Try Eric, he's a bit lonely at the moment.
  12. I'm not joking when I say that Edna is secretly a ninja.
  13. Oooh I think Edna has discovered the Chaz-Cameron fling. Her eyes have narrowed and everything. Oh wait, she's just eyeing up Carl's pint.
  14. My stomach keeps rumbling. Wait no, it's just Chaz and Cameron having a quickie. The little hussies.
  15. Welcome back to Emmerdale to me. First day home from my holidays and Aaron confesses to arson he didn't commit. Bloody Nora!
  16. Sorry I've not been tweeting lately, I've been visiting my Auntie Victoria in Albert Square.
  17. Adam Barton [to the tune of Adele's 'set fire to the rain']: "I'll set fiiiire, tooo Cain!" #emmerdale
  18. Burn dingle burn! #emmerdale
  19. Come on baby light my fire! #emmerdale
  20. Tulisa's oral sex tape is the talk of the village. She says it isn't her, then gets an ironically named 'gagging order' to stop it spreading