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TheRealMelissaN

  1. Guess who has 2 thumbs, has had 2 glasses of wine and has hidden a condom in a PJ pocket?? <---- That's hot, right? Fellas? about 17 hours ago from Tweed
  2. Boxed wine is like the Energizer Bunny. Just when you think it's out, it keeps going and going and going... about 17 hours ago from Tweed
  3. @littletonytone You're pushing your luck buddy! I would say F you, but I still can't do it! about 19 hours ago from Tweed in reply to littletonytone
  4. Oohhh...I can get 2 sets of Bumpits for just $9.99! Anyone want to go in on it with me? about 19 hours ago from Tweed
  5. I can cuss like a sailor at home, but I can never seem to get the "F" word out in a tweet. What's wrong with me?? 10:06 AM Dec 8th from Tweed
  6. Studio lights have a motion detecter and go off when I sit for too long. It's like they *want* me to go talk to my friends! 9:04 AM Dec 8th from Tweed
  7. @NotHot Done! I'll do your shots...can you be DD?? 8:22 PM Dec 7th from Tweed in reply to NotHot
  8. This week is already shaping up to not end well. I need to get drunk. Who's with me? 7:24 PM Dec 7th from Tweed
  9. I have a nutcracker and I know how to use it. Fellas?? 11:11 AM Dec 6th from Tweed
  10. Stars are *so* yesterday. Can someone just pass out cookies? 10:34 AM Dec 6th from Tweed
  11. Nooner. <---- FTW! 11:11 AM Dec 5th from Tweed
  12. @Beef_Tongue It's not Christmas related, but with that foot fetish of yours I bet you put the Twinkle in Toes. 9:18 PM Dec 4th from Tweed in reply to Beef_Tongue
  13. @bananza Wait, you've got dirty jokes to tell? Well carry on then! 8:49 PM Dec 4th from Tweed in reply to bananza
  14. Thought about getting the husb an iPhone for Christmas but I heard they're really touchy. 4:24 PM Dec 4th from Tweed
  15. @RexHuppke Well duh, the plural is mooses. 12:25 PM Dec 4th from Tweed in reply to RexHuppke
  16. @OGOchoCinco I'd love to be at the game! See my Fantasy star in action!! 11:21 AM Dec 4th from Tweed in reply to OGOchoCinco
  17. @NotHot You know what they say about a *tiny trunk* right? 11:19 AM Dec 4th from Tweed in reply to NotHot
  18. I usually don't eat many naval oranges. Mainly because of the lint. 5:00 PM Dec 3rd from Tweed
  19. On the days I think I'm having a bad hair day, I look up People of Walmart and I feel ok again. #hotdamnimahottie 1:42 PM Dec 3rd from Tweed
  20. Tweety and I are having our own little "conversation" over here. Or should I say, "wave." 1:21 PM Dec 3rd from Google Wave (Tweety)