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TheOrvedahl

  1. "Let's get in the circle and see what happens." -My mom, trying to get me on the dancs floor to Tone-Locs' 'Wild Thing'. about 2 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone
  2. Apparently there's no greater disappointment for a wedding guest than meeting a comedian who doesn't feel like comedying on command. about 3 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone
  3. Actual text from my mom at this wedding reception: 'Shall we dancs?' No, Mom, we shancs. about 3 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone
  4. I'll say this for Michael Jackson: He may be a dead pederast but goddamn if he can't revive a dance floor. about 3 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone
  5. All the old people now race-shuffling to the dance floor to lean on one another for the Righteous Brothers' 'Unchained Melody'. about 4 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone
  6. Of course everyone is dancing to pop country shit and then the dance floor empties for Hank Williams. JUST LEAVE THE BOTTLE OF CHARD THANKS about 4 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone
  7. I'm almost tanked enough to request that the wedding DJ play Danzig's 'Mother'. Lemme hit that Chardonnay again. about 4 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone
  8. There's always one couple at a wedding reception who dances just a bit too passionately, as if to say: HEY. HEY. WE'RE NEXT. about 4 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone
  9. Mmm, strong notes of banana in this Chardonnay. Wait a minute... there's a goddamn banana in my Chardonnay. about 4 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone
  10. @biorhythmist Perhaps you'll feel more comfortable wearing this... *gestures to row of home team jerseys* about 13 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone in reply to biorhythmist
  11. @Ahm76 Gurl you know I ain't. 6:29 PM Jun 1st via Twitter for iPhone
  12. Anyone who utters one complaint about driving in L.A. should be sentenced to drive in Dallas for 10 minutes. 4:51 PM Jun 1st via Twitter for iPhone
  13. #FF The funniest person on Instagram and the best butt on Twitter @Angela8912 11:52 AM Jun 1st via Twitter for iPhone
  14. Here's @nottjmiller's short film from Sundance, definitely worth 15 minutes of your work day. FunnyOrDie.com/m/6vpm 10:59 AM Jun 1st via web
  15. "Have you ever met someone you just instantly hated?" -My dad, not even referencing anyone in particular. 10:18 AM Jun 1st via Twitter for iPhone
  16. #FF “@aporianat: I learned that when the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders reach age 26 they turn them into Italian sausage. Delicious but :(” 8:38 AM Jun 1st via Twitter for iPhone
  17. @NKQualtieri Literally nothing!!! 6:45 PM May 31st via Twitter for iPhone in reply to NKQualtieri
  18. My little brother just got his M.D. and P.h.D! In related news,I smuggled lots of food from the reception in the hand-sewn pouch in my pants 6:39 PM May 31st via Twitter for iPhone