thenickgriffin
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Two shows tonight. Two shows tomorrow at the San Francisco Punch Line. Come out to see the brand new joke I wrote.
7:34 PM May 25th
via web
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there's a rob schneider movie on the entertainment channel. isn't that false advertising?
11:36 AM May 25th
via web
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How often do you think Brad Pitt's penis thanks him?
10:43 AM May 25th
via web
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Bummed that chernobyl diaries got bad reviews. Guess I'll skip it and kill teenagers on my own.
11:52 PM May 24th
via web
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@ you're a big help.
11:36 PM May 24th
via web
in reply to lizzy_keenan
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"I need sex." "I suck" "Take a nap" "You blew it." "I'm awesome" "More towels?" - the voices in my head until housekeeping arrives.
10:39 AM May 24th
via web
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I wish I was a superhero. That way I could wear tights every day and not feel self conscious about it.
8:26 AM May 23rd
via web
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Doing stand up this week at the Punch Line in San Francisco. Would it kill you to come by?
8:15 AM May 23rd
via web
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three weeks away from my apartment. hope no one broke in and stole my shattered dreams.
10:56 AM May 22nd
via web
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ladies, when you are horny, that's how a guy feels right after sex.
2:48 PM May 21st
via web
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@ ditto
3:39 PM May 18th
via web
in reply to Elissarrr
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Some guy, "Why is the starbucks lady going so slow?" Maybe because waiting on people like you sucks the life out of her.
9:44 AM May 18th
via web
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in my hotel room wearing a cardigan sweater eating pop tarts and trying to write jokes. nervous breakdown in ten. nine. eight. seven.
10:45 PM May 17th
via web
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I woke up feeling good today. And that worries me.
8:38 AM May 17th
via web
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Battleship and What to Expect When You're Expecting open Friday, but if you listen carefully, you can hear the sucking already.
9:43 AM May 16th
via web
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The Battleship radio commercial has a Kid Rock song and it's like whoa Hollywood, how can you do so many things right with one movie?
8:01 AM May 16th
via Twitter for iPhone
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going. to keep. writing. must. prove. voices in my head. wrong. but pillow. working. against me.
7:38 AM May 16th
via web
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@ no. i'm sorry
1:30 PM May 14th
via web
in reply to bobby1boucher
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I'm in Los Angeles takiing meetings. And by meetings I mean naps and pills.
12:53 PM May 14th
via web
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I hope Chris Hemsworth gets some parts soon.
12:51 PM May 14th
via web
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- Name nick griffin
- Location new york city
- Web http://nickgriffi...
- Bio NICKGRIFFIN.NET i am a comedian. i also write horror movies. thank you.(David Letterman, Conan, Comedy Central, Craig Ferguson, )
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