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thenickgriffin

  1. Two shows tonight. Two shows tomorrow at the San Francisco Punch Line. Come out to see the brand new joke I wrote. 7:34 PM May 25th via web
  2. there's a rob schneider movie on the entertainment channel. isn't that false advertising? 11:36 AM May 25th via web
  3. How often do you think Brad Pitt's penis thanks him? 10:43 AM May 25th via web
  4. Bummed that chernobyl diaries got bad reviews. Guess I'll skip it and kill teenagers on my own. 11:52 PM May 24th via web
  5. @lizzy_keenan you're a big help. 11:36 PM May 24th via web in reply to lizzy_keenan
  6. "I need sex." "I suck" "Take a nap" "You blew it." "I'm awesome" "More towels?" - the voices in my head until housekeeping arrives. 10:39 AM May 24th via web
  7. I wish I was a superhero. That way I could wear tights every day and not feel self conscious about it. 8:26 AM May 23rd via web
  8. Doing stand up this week at the Punch Line in San Francisco. Would it kill you to come by? 8:15 AM May 23rd via web
  9. three weeks away from my apartment. hope no one broke in and stole my shattered dreams. 10:56 AM May 22nd via web
  10. ladies, when you are horny, that's how a guy feels right after sex. 2:48 PM May 21st via web
  11. @Elissarrr ditto 3:39 PM May 18th via web in reply to Elissarrr
  12. Some guy, "Why is the starbucks lady going so slow?" Maybe because waiting on people like you sucks the life out of her. #dontbeadick 9:44 AM May 18th via web
  13. in my hotel room wearing a cardigan sweater eating pop tarts and trying to write jokes. nervous breakdown in ten. nine. eight. seven. 10:45 PM May 17th via web
  14. I woke up feeling good today. And that worries me. 8:38 AM May 17th via web
  15. Battleship and What to Expect When You're Expecting open Friday, but if you listen carefully, you can hear the sucking already. 9:43 AM May 16th via web
  16. going. to keep. writing. must. prove. voices in my head. wrong. but pillow. working. against me. 7:38 AM May 16th via web
  17. @bobby1boucher no. i'm sorry 1:30 PM May 14th via web in reply to bobby1boucher
  18. I'm in Los Angeles takiing meetings. And by meetings I mean naps and pills. 12:53 PM May 14th via web
  19. I hope Chris Hemsworth gets some parts soon. 12:51 PM May 14th via web
  • Name nick griffin
  • Location new york city
  • Web http://nickgriffi...
  • Bio NICKGRIFFIN.NET i am a comedian. i also write horror movies. thank you.(David Letterman, Conan, Comedy Central, Craig Ferguson, )
17 Following 9,189 Followers 261 Listed
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