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TheJasonMarcus

  1. KG knuckle pushups!!!!! #Celtics #Boston #NBA
  2. A lot of people ask me for advice and I don't mind giving it to them because I don't care if they die.
  3. If you get too high and go to an audition where you're being typecasted, you get to watch yourself enter the room a lot. #Acting!
  4. RT @rickcanavan: "I'm a gay boy."
  5. I just tickled a homeless guy until he peed his pants. Lucky for him, it happened before I got there.
  6. This is great but damn, am I pumped to see how she tops this next year when she serves him with the divorce papers: youtu.be/5_v7QrIW0zY
  7. I just spelled "asphyxiate" correctly on my first try and that's not a good thing.
  8. Does anybody know how to get blood stains out of the inside side of a "ribbed for her pleasure" condom?
  9. There's no Prince symbol in wingdings...so what's the fucking point?
  10. I weighed my penis on the scale in the produce section. Even if it sold for ten cents a pound, it would cost more than your college tuition.
  11. "Give me back my son!" -Mel Gibson as Gepetto, yelling at the whale in some anti-semetic version of Pinocchio
  12. I just painted my testicles like easter eggs. I know it's a little early for Easter but if I hide them now, somebody will find them sooner.
  13. @joshgondelman If John Lennon's former wife married @OhhhMeara, she could change her name to Yoko Ohhh'Meara.
  14. If you took a cab the full length of my penis with the meter running, you'd run out of gas and the meter would say the trip cost your life.
  15. .@instagram has really changed the whole dick pic game.