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  <created_at>Wed Apr 29 02:37:52 +0000 2009</created_at>
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  <text>Look I'm a fat fuck who couldn't pull on skates without pulling on an oxygen mask as well. But how do you crumble like that with 1:20 to go?</text>
  <source>&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.atebits.com/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Tweetie&lt;/a&gt;</source>
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    <description>It begins with me covered in sperm, trapped in my old man's balls. Then, suddenly... ESCAPE!</description>
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    <created_at>Wed May 07 01:18:24 +0000 2008</created_at>
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