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Texxie

  1. Ava bolted an entire hard-boiled egg in three bites on the way to school, then reported her "tummy hurt". Yeah, NO SHIT Cool Hand Luke!
  2. Observed 79-yr-old Jewish man getting a manicure at the nail salon. Oh Preston Hollow. What an eclectic mix of rich white people you are.
  3. Am developing a fucking EYELID TWITCH. Always the bearer of good tidings.
  4. Well, it appears I am back on the Twitter Wagon. Clearly we have reached Work Avoidance Level: RED
  5. So, I finally saw Twilight and I have to say that I found Emmett about 17836 times more yummy than Edward. Srsly.
  6. G-D DAMN IT, how is it that I have 115 Twitter followers and only 101 Facebook friends? This is the New Math. DOES NOT COMPUTE.
  7. Today's work goal: acquire more Facebook friends than ex-boyfriend's new wife. DAMN YOU small town high school!
  8. Okay, someone who has tried the "apple fries" from Burger King needs to fess up. How does...that work? What of the...oxidation issue?
  9. On the topic of Food Diaries, I beg you to read this post: http://tinyurl.com/55g938 Hee! HA! Oh boy. So funny.
  10. You know you're a low-maintenance ragamuffin when you dismiss everything on Banana Republic's website as "too dressy".
  11. Just realized I have no Labor Day plans WHATSO. I hate when my Lameness creeps up on me like that.
  12. If they can make bday cake flavored ICE CREAM, why can't they make bday cake flavored COFFEE CREAMER?
  13. 24 hours later, and still obsessing over the antipasto I bought at Market Street last night. GOD I LOVE SATURATED FAT.
  14. Am the last person on earth to start reading The Kite Runner.
  15. @Swistle_Thistle Clearly I have not yet mastered the art of the cell phone self-portrait. Plus, my good side is "aerial view".
  16. Trying to score tickets for the So You Think You Can Dance tour. LIKE YOU AREN'T.
  17. MOVING TO LONDON. Also, new blog title: Ways I am an Asshole American
  18. What are the chances I'll remember to change my voicemail greeting to reflect week of vaca? 40%? 50%, IF I affix a sticky note to phone?
  19. Reports of my death, etc. etc.
  20. Considering grocery run to obtain ice cream sundae fixins for entire dept. Where is Michael's "WORLDS BEST BOSS" mug when you need it?