TeeShirtSoupBob
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@ got it. I'm certainly not going to argue with success. You seem to know what you're doing.
about 2 hours ago
via Twitter for iPhone
in reply to Missdevious76
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@ wow. How much do you lift?
about 2 hours ago
via Twitter for iPhone
in reply to AllyFiesta
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@ Yes, but in a good way.
about 3 hours ago
via web
in reply to Missdevious76
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When I was a kid, I didn't know how a male nudist could not have an erection all day. Then I saw a female nudist.
about 6 hours ago
via Twitter for iPhone
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My parents set of encyclopedias have no idea what a Snooki is. I envy them.
5:16 PM May 27th
via Twitter for iPhone
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To the guys who invariably enter the men's room when I attempt a urinal visit: STOP IT!!!!
4:56 PM May 27th
via Twitter for iPhone
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For all you assholes like me, who refuse to Google shit, YOLO means "You Only Love Otters".
Knowledge is power.
12:47 PM May 25th
via Favstar.FM
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When I sweat, the area between my thigh and scrotum smells like a sickly vagina. Ladies, the phone lines are open.
1:27 PM May 26th
via Twitter for iPhone
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If I ever say the phrase "okie dokie artichokie" to you, it means I'm wearing a wire and you're about to get jammed the fuck up.
7:13 PM Mar 29th, 2011
via TweetCaster
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@ Listening to O&A replay; sounds like you could use a new online friend.
1:42 PM May 23rd
via Twitter for iPhone
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"Hey Muslims, you're way off." -God
10:23 AM May 23rd
via Twitter for iPhone
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Found a gray chest hair today. On my wife.
6:52 PM May 19th
via Twitter for iPhone
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@ it's okay. I would have unfollowed me too. But thanks.
8:10 PM May 18th
via Twitter for iPhone
in reply to MauiLove917
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@ It must've happened when you accidentally unfollowed me.
11:35 AM May 18th
via web
in reply to MauiLove917
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@ Not to harp on it, but I've lost 7.6 lbs. since you unfollowed me.
11:28 AM May 18th
via web
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I don't know what everyone expected. His name was Idi Amin, not Idi A-nice.
9:21 AM May 18th
via Twitter for iPhone
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"Siri, let's make a tomato soup delivery man come out in the rain." -Zooey Deschanel
7:52 PM May 17th
via Twitter for iPhone
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I'm just glad I live in a world where there are penguins.
6:50 PM May 17th
via web
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The better your bachelor party, the bigger a bitch your friends think your fiancé is.
9:47 AM May 16th
via Twitter for iPhone
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Margaritas: Step 1 of the Mexican plan for world domination.
8:31 AM May 14th
via Twitter for iPhone
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- Name Bob
- Location Philadelphia
- Web http://www.teeshi...
- Bio Writer. Comedian (if you count the 1.5 open-mics I've done). If you're nice to me, I'll assume you secretly hate me. And like you, I am a social media guru.
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