TLHines
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Things to be thankful for this week: #1 - I'm not Adam Lambert's press agent.
7:17 AM Nov 23rd
from web
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The only people who get everything they want are hypochondriacs.
7:22 AM Nov 20th
from web
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Little-known fact: all music groups formed in the 1970s were legally required to name themselves after cities or food items.
1:12 PM Nov 13th
from web
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I know a guy who wears wife beater shirts every day. Says the Second Amendment guarantees him the right to bare arms.
7:28 AM Nov 9th
from web
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If I were a cardiologist, I'd definitely have a tee shirt that says "I (heart) hearts."
11:00 AM Nov 6th
from web
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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. An onion a day should take care of pretty much everyone else.
7:54 AM Nov 3rd
from web
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If life gives you lemons, you've probably wandered into the produce department at the grocery store.
8:15 AM Oct 30th
from web
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When you're an amnesiac, you get to see every movie for the first time.
5:35 AM Oct 28th
from web
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I've always been a big fan of Mrs. Butterworth. Even though she does tend to waffle.
7:25 AM Oct 26th
from web
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- Looks like Kanye West has become a Monty Python fan overnight.
11:33 AM Oct 22nd
from TwitPic
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We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And clowns.
11:07 AM Oct 22nd
from web
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To the Español and Deutsch speakers hoping I'll follow you back: I'm American, so I'm functionally unilingual.
12:29 PM Oct 21st
from web
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Not happy with Fox News Channel's coverage of me. Partly because there hasn't been any.
7:57 AM Oct 19th
from Twitterrific
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@ The longer you wait to click send, the longer you'll wait for a response.
7:52 AM Oct 19th
from Twitterrific
in reply to IvyR
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Betting the whole "balloon boy" incident was just a clever marketing gimmick cooked up by the folks at Jiffy Pop.
8:35 AM Oct 16th
from web
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It would seem responsibility is as important to Wall Street as contraception is to the Duggar family.
9:50 AM Oct 15th
from web
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I'm told 8/10ths of all Americans--a full 90%--have trouble calculating fractions.
7:40 AM Oct 14th
from web
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Once, as a wee lad shopping with Mom, I started to ask where babies come from. Then I saw "Baby Powder" on the shelf.
8:10 AM Oct 13th
from web
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Michael Jackson's new tune is "This Is It." In related news, Kenny Loggins is releasing a song called "Beat It."
8:23 AM Oct 12th
from web
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Breaking News: NASA crashes into the dark side of the moon--just 36 years after Pink Floyd.
7:33 AM Oct 9th
from web
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- Name TL Hines
- Location Billings, Montana
- Web http://www.tlhine...
- Bio Writes novels. No, that IS the day job. 3-0 record in air guitar competitions. Enjoys pudding.
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