TBMimsTheThird
- Kid Two just rented _Paul Blart: Mall Cop_. Contemplating a sidebar with the judge for an alternative parenting plan. And a paternity test.7:25 PM Jul 17th from web
- The Sierra Mist Fairy has been far too generous with this office refrigerator.11:38 AM Jul 14th from web
- @Jessabelle2o7 Looks like I'm actually supposed to lob bottles of Selosse. Apparently, this place has standards (and bad background checks).6:41 PM Jul 12th from web in reply to Jessabelle2o7
- In an apartment for first time in years. What do I yell at pesky neighbor kids when I shake my fist? "Get off our communal landscaping sod"?6:20 PM Jul 12th from Birdhouse
- Contempt? I absolutely recognized his authority. He gave me five days to move out. I said: "Fuck you, um, Your Honor." Totally deferential.7:34 PM Jul 7th from web
- Upon divorce, you should get a platypus, Richard Simmons workout DVD, John Tesh CD and a note that says: "It’ll get even weirder than this.”1:54 PM Jul 5th from web
- It's a good thing I never learned to tie a bow tie, because I probably would have worn them.8:16 PM Jun 30th from web
- The good news? St. Peter finally gets a 30-minute lunch break every six hours. The bad news? "Hi! This is Billy Mays for Eternal Salvation!"9:22 AM Jun 28th from web
- I hope that when I walk out of this house, karma waltzes its sweet ass in.8:29 PM Jun 25th from web
- As I sit at this softball practice full of ten-year-olds, all I can think is: Michael Jackson would want to be here so much more than me.4:11 PM Jun 25th from Tweetie
- @baileygenine I'm only kind of back. So you should warn your people that I'll only be kind of funny. And that's probably optimistic.3:17 PM Jun 25th from Tweetie in reply to baileygenine
- @SeoulBrother I was just about to toot when I saw your toot about wishing how I'd forgotten I could toot. My apologies, Seoulstradamus.8:43 PM Jun 24th from web in reply to SeoulBrother
- That said, I can't promise funny. This rubber chicken isn't translating into this tube series as easily as expected.9:57 PM Jun 20th from web
- Reverse Two Weeks Notice: I'll soon not not be here anymore. I'll be quitting the quitting. I'll be ungone. Consider yourselves warned.9:56 PM Jun 20th from web
- A couple of ironies. I'm at an Optimist's Club dinner. And the Optimist's Police Officer of the Year was separated at birth from @InsoOutso.5:44 PM May 4th from Tweetie
- Just found the perfect hallucinatory mix of sinus and allergy meds. Fucking awesome. Going to the studio to record Tha Carter IV right now.11:14 AM May 4th from web
- Eating microwaved corn dogs while watching the Food Network. Later I'll make love to Kathy Bates at the Playboy Mansion.6:12 PM May 2nd from web
- Crispin Glover and Joaquin Phoenix have moved into my sinuses and opened a very loud, very painful fetish farm complete with camel fucking.4:35 PM May 2nd from web
- @lindstifa First, @jessabelle2o7? Then Kansas City? Now @weselec? My friend, you are living the motherfucking dream.10:28 AM May 2nd from TweetDeck in reply to lindstifa
- SimplifyMedia. Fuck sliced bread.10:09 AM May 2nd from web
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- Name Tappy McGee
- Location Hither. Yon.
- Bio Just a hobo. In a tutu. Nothing to see. Move along.
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