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  1. FACEBOOK friends. Please don't update me on the hilarious antics at your imaginary farm. I really couldn't give a shit about your turnips. about 2 hours ago from Tweetie
  2. Brittany Murphy must have been fucking surprised when she heard Rage Against The Machine were the UK Christmas number 1. 11:02 PM Dec 20th from Tweetie
  3. According to Brittany Murphy's coroner "Natural death, unnatural hair color." #brittanymurphy #toosoon 6:19 PM Dec 20th from Tweetie
  4. "Dog owners who want to save money should remember it's cheaper to buy puppies monthly and dispose of them than take them to the vet." 3:23 PM Dec 20th from Tweetie
  5. @ENMagnifico Me too. I'm working on it. New gear, new place, new ideas... 2:33 AM Dec 20th from Tweetie in reply to ENMagnifico
  6. I'm now follwing everyone who's following me. Sorry for the delay. Feel free to talk to me. 11:12 PM Dec 19th from Tweetie
  7. Patriotism = Being proud of where your parents fucked 11:06 PM Dec 19th from Tweetie
  8. Am I the only one who thinks "Muscle Milk" sounds more like a euphemism for cum than a sports drink? 10:30 PM Dec 19th from Tweetie
  9. Okay, confession time. I fucked Tiger Woods. #tigerwoods #uplate #whiskey 12:44 AM Dec 19th from Tweetie
  10. @furrygirl It's that your pseudonym is gently comic that's the issue. Mary Jane is an obvious pseudonym too but its never in quotes. 10:11 PM Dec 18th from Tweetie in reply to furrygirl
  11. There is no page fold http://bit.ly/5twhlD Unless, of course, you're a video site. 11:58 PM Dec 17th from Tweetie
  12. @jockm I guess women have it covered naturally and men just need a date. Nature is amazing. 11:42 PM Dec 17th from Tweetie in reply to jockm
  13. Where to card-carrying nudists carry their cards? #naturists #nudists 11:20 PM Dec 17th from Tweetie
  14. Top UK poofta "I'm a mental" - http://bit.ly/6GzeXT #PeterTatchell #civilrights #ultraviolence #greenparty 12:15 PM Dec 17th from Tweetie
  15. Time for a little amateurbaiting. (Yeah, I invented a word, eat it dictionary.) 2:22 AM Dec 17th from Tweetie
  16. How come buying old copies of Penthouse featuring 16 year olds is illegal (in the US), but featuring 17 year olds isn't? 1:09 AM Dec 17th from Tweetie
  17. What if Twitter's fake and I'm the only user? (via @zeldman) 9:12 PM Dec 16th from Tweetie
  18. @furrygirl Taking sharps with you? Mad. You know where you're medically fucked without a ticket home? America. Trust me, I've been around. 2:16 AM Dec 16th from Tweetie in reply to furrygirl
  19. @beforepartb True. I notice @Furrygirl refuses to speak up! 12:17 AM Dec 16th from Tweetie in reply to beforepartb
  20. Do Vegan's swallow? I see a conflict. 9:26 PM Dec 15th from Tweetie