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Stugazi

  1. I ate WAY too much. Wait, there's pie? Yes please. 9:41 PM Nov 26th from Brizzly
  2. "I would totally put it in her turducken." 7:50 PM Nov 26th from Brizzly
  3. I just had a horrible dream that the Bears traded Orton for Cutler. What?! FUCK! 7:49 PM Nov 26th from Brizzly
  4. My dog just ate someones barf off the street. Today I am thankful I am not a dog. 12:09 PM Nov 26th from Tweetie
  5. Labeling my freshly burned Lady Gaga CD "The Sex Pistols" because I would never want anyone to know I listen to Lady Gaga. 9:23 AM Nov 24th from Brizzly
  6. HESTER'S ASS. 8:33 PM Nov 22nd from Brizzly
  7. Judging by the number of one dollar bills in my pocket I may have performed at a strip club last night. 11:14 AM Nov 22nd from Tweetie
  8. I got hit on by a super hot/spicy/sexy Mexican chick, so I immediately left the bar so I could Tweet about it. And cry. But mostly cry. 11:59 PM Nov 21st from Brizzly
  9. Me? Oh, just hanging out with @ChrisBrogan. Why, what's up? 11:55 PM Nov 21st from Brizzly
  10. McRib to Live. Live to McRib. 6:29 PM Nov 21st from Tweetie
  11. The peanut butter is coming from inside the WAFFLE. NOM NOM NOM 9:10 AM Nov 21st from Tweetie
  12. The problem with getting a face tattoo is that IT'S ON YOUR FACE. 6:46 PM Nov 20th from Tweetie
  13. Asking a friend how his Server 2008 upgrade went: "Was it easier than stuffing a dead hooker in your trunk?" 10:10 PM Nov 16th from Brizzly
  14. Just ran the company financial reports. I NEED A DRINK. 5:30 PM Nov 16th from Brizzly
  15. Here's how I use Tumblr: Forget that it's there > stumble across it > reblog 100 things > forget that it's there > repeat. 12:25 PM Nov 15th from Tweetie
  16. Installing Instapaper because @hotdogsladies made love to it on the Internet. I'd probably install the dog crap app if he blogged about it. 11:31 AM Nov 15th from Tweetie
  17. Friend: She moved in with another guy a week after we broke up. Me: So you're saying it was pre-whore-itated? 6:05 PM Nov 14th from Tweetie
  18. Don't cry over spilled milk. Crying over spilled coffee on the other hand is perfectly acceptable. 1:45 PM Nov 13th from Brizzly
  19. Client's wife who called with Porn popups on her computer: How can I prevent this? Us: Um, fuck your husband? 8:42 AM Nov 12th from web
  20. Things I don't want to hear from my buddies when we're video chatting: "Can you tell I'm not wearing any pants?" 9:53 PM Nov 11th from Brizzly