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StevenAmiri

  1. The first presidential candidate that openly admits to sharting at a friends house in college will have my vote no questions asked. about 2 hours ago via Tweetbot for iOS
  2. Watching Man v. Food. Fred Savage has let himself go. about 5 hours ago via Tweetbot for iOS
  3. Rachel Maddow seems like the type of guy that would appreciate Miller 64. about 5 hours ago via Tweetbot for iOS
  4. I hope “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter” is better than “Ronald Reagan: Car Keys Hunter”. about 11 hours ago via Tweetbot for iOS
  5. How was Jeff Bridges NOT in Hatfields & McCoys? 7:44 PM May 30th via Tweetbot for iOS
  6. Remember: We are all one drunken night of live-tweeting “Roots” away from being unfollowed. 3:15 PM May 30th via Tweetbot for iOS
  7. Sext: You think bacon would taste good on a Filet-O-Fish? Just go ahead and get it. I’ll work the rest out. 11:05 AM May 30th via Tweetbot for iOS
  8. Happy Wednesday: youtu.be/l-BGVOX47WQ 7:36 AM May 30th via web
  9. Just bought a new bathroom scale and I’m already taking it back to the store. I refuse to believe that my dick weighs that much. 12:26 PM May 29th via Tweetbot for iOS
  10. Chili looks like a gross shit. What’s everybody doing for lunch? 9:22 AM May 29th via Tweetbot for iOS
  11. When I divorce my first wife, “Irreconcilable Differences” means she asked me to make a wish at 11:11. 9:17 PM May 28th via Tweetbot for iOS
  12. This reality show on The History Channel is great. I didn't realize that Bill Paxton and Kevin Costner hated each other. 7:26 PM May 28th via web
  13. Deleting my Instagram app and smearing Cheetos dust on my phone’s camera lens. 7:12 PM May 28th via Tweetbot for iOS
  14. There's a Steven Amiri that is the manager of a Dunkin Donuts. If you guys know him, will you tell him I'm sorry for making him look bad? 7:01 PM May 28th via web
  15. Sext: It's not dandruff. I had white cheddar popcorn for lunch. 6:25 PM May 28th via web
  16. A fun game I like to play on my porch is "Are Those Kids Being Murdered or Playing in the Pool?" 4:45 PM May 28th via web
  17. I just let a kid have the last cinnastick because I'm the hero this Cici's Pizza deserves but not the one it needs right now. 10:36 AM May 28th via web
  18. People that play Call of Duty know this day isn’t about them, right? 10:00 AM May 28th via Tweetbot for iOS
  19. Every time you say Happy Memorial Day, Tom Hanks and Steven Spielberg get a nickel. 9:52 AM May 28th via Tweetbot for iOS
  • Name Steven Amiri
  • Web http://www.witstr...
  • Bio Making love and doing stuff. Backup dancer for Jennifer Lopez. Contributor to WitStream. Ask me about my Mad Men fan fiction.
537 Following 6,380 Followers 419 Listed
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