StephenTColbert
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Hey yogurt, if you're so cultured, how come I never see you at the opera?
7:50 AM Jul 5th
from web
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Happy Independence Day, the greatest day in the history of the world! Take that Britain!
8:34 AM Jul 4th
from web
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When in Rome , I find a McDonald's where they speak English.
11:05 AM Jul 3rd
from web
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This is America, where we have health insurance companies standing between the patient and the doctor.
9:23 AM Jun 26th
from web
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I’m no fan of tennis. If I wanted to see men in short shorts running around hitting balls with a paddle, I’d go on the internet.
7:29 AM Jun 26th
from web
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@ I'd have to agree with you on that one.
1:05 PM Jun 22nd
from TweetDeck
in reply to Brandiwine12
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Summertime means carnivals. There's no better way to enjoy fresh air than by inhaling go-cart exaust and churro dust.
8:15 AM Jun 21st
from TweetDeck
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All my life, I’ve identified with strong, military role models. As a child, I ate a lot of Cap’n Crunch.
8:08 AM Jun 14th
from web
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I float like a butterfly, sting like a bee, and if that fails I curl up like an armadillo.
7:38 PM May 27th
from web
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Happy memorial day!
2:31 PM May 25th
from mobile web
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A house divided against itself cannot stand, but it's worth squat in this market anyway.
6:04 PM May 23rd
from web
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Wow, nearly 50k followers, quite impressive nation.
3:46 PM May 23rd
from web
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I voted Democrat!
2:24 PM May 23rd
from web
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Does this smell like chloroform to you?
6:25 AM May 23rd
from web
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Your father? A thief? Or did someone else steal stars from the sky and put them in your eyes?
6:21 AM May 23rd
from web
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@ Yes, yes it is.
5:09 PM May 20th
from web
in reply to pitchforkmedia
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Side effects of tonight's show may include euphoria, patriotism and painful urination.
4:46 PM May 20th
from web
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Put your money where your mouth is, it's a lot safer than a bank.
7:35 PM May 19th
from web
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Racial tension is on the rise in Switzerland. Conditions have risen from neutral to ambivalent.
1:07 PM May 8th
from web
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A philosophical question - if a president passed a law requiring him to break that law, could he do it? Or did I just blow your mind?
7:44 PM May 7th
from web
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- Name Stephen T. Colbert
- Location New York City, NY
- Web http://www.colber...
- Bio I Am America (And So Can You!)
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