StephenAtHome
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it's almost thanksgiving, so let me be the first to say, "you're welcome"
9:52 AM Nov 23rd
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little known fact: after the pilgrims ate, they would loosen the buckles on their hats
1:31 PM Nov 21st
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it was a huge honor to sing with elvis costello, unless that was one of those elvis costello impersonators
9:00 PM Nov 19th
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i bet those black lotto tickets have an even classier sheen when they're coated with human tears
8:48 PM Nov 19th
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ak-47 notwithstanding, i'm no fan of russia. i don't trust a country whose women nest inside of each other
8:39 PM Nov 19th
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why is everyone so afraid of mayan calendar predictions? they certainly failed to predict that they'd die out in the 9th century
8:50 PM Nov 18th
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They made sarah palin go on those shopping sprees. If it were up to her, that money would have been spent on hardtack and elk jerky
8:42 PM Nov 18th
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palin's book seems interesting but she misspelled "rouge" and "gong"
8:41 PM Nov 18th
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you can simulate the effect of eating an eggo by pouring syrup on a subway grate then licking till you're full.
8:39 PM Nov 18th
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beauty is only skin deep, which is why i insist my plastic surgeon scrape me to the bone
12:52 PM Nov 18th
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I live every day as if it were Taco Tuesday
9:53 AM Nov 18th
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kids who don't want to be child laborers are nothing more than artful work-dodgers
8:41 PM Nov 17th
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what's wrong with child labor? if you ask me it's about time these lazy babies started coughing up rent and food money
8:39 PM Nov 17th
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they found water on the moon. either that, or we finally made the moon cry
11:37 AM Nov 17th
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of course we should outlaw gay funerals. it's "bringing in the sheaves" not "bringing in the steves"
8:48 PM Nov 16th
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did you know a gesture can have two meanings? i.e. in japan bowing is a sign of respect but in the U.S. it's a sign of a weak president
8:40 PM Nov 16th
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just five more days until sarah palin's book comes out. it's 432 pages, but i'm guessing there's a lot of these: ;-)
2:44 PM Nov 13th
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the balloon boy parents are expected to plead guilty... of 1st degree entertainment!
11:30 AM Nov 13th
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i can't believe we're facing an ammunition shortage right when we're facing a surplus of things i want to shoot at
5:30 AM Nov 13th
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vaya con dios, lou dobbs. wait, i should probably rephrase that
5:29 AM Nov 13th
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